Indian government will table the No Liability Bill soon
After letting the Union Carbide criminal Warren Anderson scot free and freeing US nuclear vendors of any liability in case of a disaster on Indian soil, the Indian government has drawn up plans to bring in a new law that completely eliminates any further liability on itself or on any other private state, non-state or even non Indian entity. Humor Unplugged, India’s most read blog, has accessed confidential papers that suggest that as per the new law still in the drafting stage, the government and\or other entities will be exempt from paying even a penny to the victims of any disaster – natural or otherwise.
“From now on the Indian government will be a mute spectator. In case of a disaster, our role will end with issuing a strong statement condemning the incident using strong words, shedding a few official crocodile tears and displaying fake sympathy towards the victims. The word disaster could mean anything from a plane crash, industrial accidents to flood or Tsunami. All entities, whether Indian or foreign will not have to shell out any money unless the death toll exceeds 1 billion. We will also ensure that the top brass and all corrupt officials involved are adequately shielded from any legal ramifications (within or outside India) and allowed to migrate or disappear, as needed,” Veerappa Soily, India’s law minister told Humor Unplugged while confirming the findings of our cost effective investigation.
When reminded that the Indian government was always a mute spectator when it came to protecting citizens, an angry Soily said “what do you think we are your local guardians or something? Go defend yourself. We have better things to do like selling costly spectrum for free to telecom companies, helping senior ministers buy stakes in IPL franchises and making sure that Air India stays in the red. For every Indian who dies in a disaster, there are 5000 suckers who are born and you dont expect us to take care of everyone”.
Soily also told Humor Unplugged that even victims of a terrorist attack won’t be able to receive any compensation from the Indian government under the provisions of the new law. He said that the number of terror incidents had “gone up like crazy” over the last few years and it was therefore impossible to track and compensate every victim or next of kin. “So many terror incidents happen every year and so many of them go unreported. Even Times Now anchor Arnab Ghostswame has stopped jumping every time a terror incident happens. So why should we be any different”? Soily asked Humor Unplugged.
The bill for the new act will be called the N Liability bill or the No Liability bill.
“From now on the Indian government will be a mute spectator. In case of a disaster, our role will end with issuing a strong statement condemning the incident using strong words, shedding a few official crocodile tears and displaying fake sympathy towards the victims. The word disaster could mean anything from a plane crash, industrial accidents to flood or Tsunami. All entities, whether Indian or foreign will not have to shell out any money unless the death toll exceeds 1 billion. We will also ensure that the top brass and all corrupt officials involved are adequately shielded from any legal ramifications (within or outside India) and allowed to migrate or disappear, as needed,” Veerappa Soily, India’s law minister told Humor Unplugged while confirming the findings of our cost effective investigation.
When reminded that the Indian government was always a mute spectator when it came to protecting citizens, an angry Soily said “what do you think we are your local guardians or something? Go defend yourself. We have better things to do like selling costly spectrum for free to telecom companies, helping senior ministers buy stakes in IPL franchises and making sure that Air India stays in the red. For every Indian who dies in a disaster, there are 5000 suckers who are born and you dont expect us to take care of everyone”.
Soily also told Humor Unplugged that even victims of a terrorist attack won’t be able to receive any compensation from the Indian government under the provisions of the new law. He said that the number of terror incidents had “gone up like crazy” over the last few years and it was therefore impossible to track and compensate every victim or next of kin. “So many terror incidents happen every year and so many of them go unreported. Even Times Now anchor Arnab Ghostswame has stopped jumping every time a terror incident happens. So why should we be any different”? Soily asked Humor Unplugged.
The bill for the new act will be called the N Liability bill or the No Liability bill.
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now