India threatens David Headly with a ride in Indian air space

With a team from the National Investigation Agency (NIA) getting access to Pakistani origin terrorist and LeT operative David Coleman Headly, the Indian government has authorized it to use all available means to extract ‘relevant’ information from him. Humor Unplugged, India’s only 24X7 blog, has managed to obtain secret notes handed over to NIA team members that lists out a series of threats to be made to the global terrorist to make him sing like a canary on his links with the army and the terrorists in Pakistan.

One of the confidential notes written by a senior home ministry mandarin says “If the culprit manages to evade questions and acts in an evasive manner, NIA investigators will have the mandate to use all imaginary and creative means possible to threaten him. Though he is in the custody of USA and will be subject to the laws there, the team will not be expected to be bogged down with diplomatic formalities and futile pursuits that will lead to nowhere. The team will have to be shrewd enough to craft various tactics to make the terrorist share his knowledge on LeT activities”.  

The document goes on to list a few tactics that the investigators can use to threaten the terrorist. An interesting one suggests a ride for the mixed breed jihadi in Indian airspace. “David Coleman Headly must be aware of the pathetic state of civil aviation in India and the number of near misses that we have. This fact must be exploited to the maximum possible extend by the investigators, who will have the power to force him to ride a flight to New Delhi, that too while our honorable president is going out of town”.

Other tactics include telling the jihadi that he might have to spend a day with UP CM Mayawati or translate the 12000 page reply submitted by Lalit Modi to the BCCI show cause notice into Urdu after editing it or even watch 3 Himmesh Reshamia movies back to back.