Now Robots will issue Fatwa

Robots have been marrying people, detecting and disarming bombs and mines and even replacing actors on screen for a while now. All that is past because now, a company in Dubai has come up with a robot that does the impossible –  issue threatening fatwas. Sources have told India’s favorite blog Humor Unplugged that the company, which has chosen not to disclose its name for compliance reasons, will come out with the robot, as soon as it gets the mandatory clearances from the government of UAE. 

Company sources say that there is a huge demand for such robots in mullah dominated countries like Pakistan, where fatwas are issued at the drop of a Talibani leader in UAV bombing. “The robot needs to be programmed extensively and one needs to make sure that various parameters are correctly fed into its database. The accuracy of the fatwa will depend on the accuracy of the data fed into it. The robot looks exactly like a donkey riding, leaving eating, fatwa spitting stone age mullah and we have gone to great lengths to ensure a uncanny resemblance,” says a company source who didn’t wish to be named.

Humor Unplugged was allowed to take a sneak peak at a prototype of the mullah robot and we also managed to get a really nasty close up of the animated fatwa pronouncer (viewer discretion is advised). “Currently, there is a shortage of about 23000 fatwas a day. Infact no fatwas have been issued for many critical issues as the mullahs were busy taking their donkeys for a spin on country roads. These mullah robots will close this gap effectively,” a senior company mullah (who helped develop the robot by providing conservatively senseless inputs) told Humor Unplugged, before dashing off to download a Carla Bruni wallpaper.

The robot prototype...