Curbing unruly and unparliamentarily behavior
They are pests, uncultured dullards and freaks of the first order who bring ignominy to their cultured and suave counterparts in parliament. Yes, we are talking about unruly MPs who are always looking for flimsy excuses to disrupt parliamentary proceedings. In this exclusive post, Humor Unplugged looks at ways to put an end to the unpardonable behavior of such MPs. Here are a few suggestions to the speakers of the two houses of parliament.
* Make all MPs wear wireless shock collars on their necks with the controls residing with the speaker. As and when a MP starts misbehaving, the chair can press a button to release almost 150 v of power. The MPs shouldn’t be able to remove the collar as long as they are inside the parliament.
* Deploy sharp shooters armed with tranquilizer darts at strategic points in both the houses. Give them power to take down unruly members before they can cause further mischief
* Hire a strong nanny to keep a watch on unruly members. The nanny should have the power to thrash the mischief mongers with microphones or anything available
* Start a detention room in parliament. Detain unruly members for a period of not less than 2 days there. Human and media contact should not be allowed for the period of stay
* Reserve the seats belonging to such members for women for the next two terms
* Direct such MPs to edit the next 8000 page dossier that we will be handing over to Pakistan
* If a member is responsible for more than two disruptions, force him to go on a date with Mayawathi\Mamta Banerjee. Make it Lalloo, if the disrupting MP is a lady
* Force misbehaving members to watch the 3-D version of Desh Drohi without any break
* Make such members cycle near Mulayam Singh’s private runway in Ittawa while his private plane is landing
* Ask them to learn one foreign language over the next 5 days, failing which they will have to forfeit their seat
* Make such MPs clean one of India’s warships completely with just a tooth brush
* Make all MPs wear wireless shock collars on their necks with the controls residing with the speaker. As and when a MP starts misbehaving, the chair can press a button to release almost 150 v of power. The MPs shouldn’t be able to remove the collar as long as they are inside the parliament.
* Deploy sharp shooters armed with tranquilizer darts at strategic points in both the houses. Give them power to take down unruly members before they can cause further mischief
* Hire a strong nanny to keep a watch on unruly members. The nanny should have the power to thrash the mischief mongers with microphones or anything available
* Start a detention room in parliament. Detain unruly members for a period of not less than 2 days there. Human and media contact should not be allowed for the period of stay
* Reserve the seats belonging to such members for women for the next two terms
* Direct such MPs to edit the next 8000 page dossier that we will be handing over to Pakistan
* If a member is responsible for more than two disruptions, force him to go on a date with Mayawathi\Mamta Banerjee. Make it Lalloo, if the disrupting MP is a lady
* Force misbehaving members to watch the 3-D version of Desh Drohi without any break
* Make such members cycle near Mulayam Singh’s private runway in Ittawa while his private plane is landing
* Ask them to learn one foreign language over the next 5 days, failing which they will have to forfeit their seat
* Make such MPs clean one of India’s warships completely with just a tooth brush
I am writing on somewhat related topic of women's reservation bill. Albeit with noble intents, the women's reservation bill is a prescription for political chaos.
ReplyDeleteRead and comment on a Rational opinion on this important bill at:-
http://rationalopinion.blogspot.com/2010/03/no-good-womens-reservation-bill.html
Create a moat around the the speakers chair
ReplyDeletei liked te first point having a wireless shock collar perfect one
btw our Indian parliament is not the only one with ruckus creating MPs foreign parliaments are not bad either in this
oh my god i cant stop laughing. The date with mayawati and laloo was too good.
ReplyDelete