After BT baingan, its now time for the BT neta

After making an unsuccessful attempt to use biotechnology to make pest-resistant brinjals, the Indian government has okayed a proposal to use biotechnology to improve the quality of political leadership in the country.

Noted biotechnologist Dr Hammerschmidst, has been asked to head the project. A veteran in the field, he has done conclusive experiments on 25 generations of rats and figured out a way to improve their leadership skills and transform them into effective visionaries. The experiments could be conducted only after the doc managed to get a restraining order passed on Menaka Gandhi, who was trying hard to scuttle the project.

“The initial bunch that I picked were rats in every sense of the noun. Some of them used to divide their population based on various parameters, while others were busy pitting families against each other. Another bunch used to visit pubs frequented by young teenage rats and attack couples enjoying a cup of cappuccino there and another group used to grow thick facial hair and blow themselves up at public places for no reason.  After our initial experiments, we were able to curtail such tendencies within 3 generations and develop rats who were more understanding, tolerant, race agnostic, pragmatic visionaries. Such rats got involved in social work within a few weeks of their birth and would also rally rats around to get them to work on community projects,” Hammerschmidst said.

Elaborating on his modus operandi to develop able leadership among rats, the doc said “we were able to isolate the genes that were triggering wrong qualities in rats. There were also a few enzyme switches that had to be turned off to prevent production of proteins that would reduce tolerance levels and cloud one’s thinking and we were able to do all that within just two generations of rats. Now we can do all this within a single generation”.

Thinking of the great challenge ahead of him, the doc says “Even if we are able to achieve 10 percent of what we achieved in rats, we may be able to curb a few menacing properties of our politicians”. Hammerschmidst will now assemble a pool of politicians who will be the chosen “rats” for the new project. “Rats and politicians share many proteins so it won’t be difficult for my team to fix them, so that the next generation turns into able vision oriented leaders,” he added.