Tiger’s pet seeks separation

Tiger’s pet dog Yogi has moved an Orlando family court seeking separation from his once favorite master and idol. The pet dog, in a petition has stated that “he was in deep duress” and asked the court to relieve him from his association with the Woods family as soon as possible.

“My client is deeply disturbed and pained by the recent turn of events and has decided that moving on was the best option available under the given circumstances. His thoughts are with the Woods family and he is confident that his master will soon be back to his smashing best on course and be known for his golfing skills rather than his off field conquests,” Yogi’s lawyer told the media at a casual briefing on Friday.

The court has admitted the petition and asked both parties to come forward for a hearing on Dec 23. Ruling out any scope for reconciliation, Yogi’s lawyer said “Yogi’s fundamental trust in his master’s abilities to separate virtue from vice has been breached. As things stand, my client does not want to think beyond his next meal and has concluded that any further association with his master will only bring more defamation, pain and agony to him and to the memories he holds close to his heart of the times gone by and this is an irreversible decision”. 

During happier times...(Yogi is seen on the left)

Yogi, sources say, was subject to much ridicule by his friends over the last few weeks over his master’s behavior. “He used to come home with a long face and quietly retire to bed without having his supper or even exercising his tail (by wagging). The stress of constant media glare also seemed to be catching up with the canine. Last week he imposed a forced wardrobe malfunction on a paparazzi guy, whose trousers were chewed to shreds by Yogi,” a source said.

Yogi was last seen boarding a flight to Copenhagen to join issue with the developed world over the Kyoto protocol impasse. His lawyer has said that Yogi wants to dedicate the rest of his life to a noble cause and will soon be seen in a new Avtaar. 


Tiger's second pet Taz has been maintaining a studied silence on this issue and was unreachable on chat (he was either invisible or chose not to log in) and his facebook status has also not been updated in over two weeks. Sources say that Taz will issue a press note early next week after Ellen announces her next move.

Inset: Yogi