Pak to issue origin cards to terrorists
Pakistan has decided to issue special cards to terrorists who have been trained by the biggest sponsor of terror in the world. These cards, to be issued by the foreign ministry will make the holders eligible for obtaining special privileges, whenever they visit Pakistan. The decision was taken after it came to light that the two terrorists arrested by FBI in connection with plotting terror attacks against India and Denmark had received military training in Pakistan, in addition to the usual indoctrination from mountain mullahs.
“Everyday and I mean every single day, some terrorist is arrested in some part of the world and guess what all those guys are from Pakistan. It has become so much difficult for us to keep track of the amount of terrorists we are training and this card program will help us do exactly that. These guys are making us proud and this is the least the government of Pakistan can do,” screamed Pakistan’s loud mouth foreign minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi, who was so loud that he broke the windshields of two cars in the parking lot.
Sources say the Pakistani government will issue such cards to terrorists who have been trained or have resided in Pakistan for over 5 years. These terrorists will be henceforth be called as Terrorists of Pakistani Origin (TPO) and will be extended all forms of government aid and protection currently extended to terrorists, who are born in Pakistan. “When I heard that David Coleman Headly was trained by Pakistan, my heart swelled with pride, I could almost hear the Pakistani national anthem ringing in my ears (though later on it was discovered that it was my ringtone). I was thinking..these people bring in so much joy to the average Pakistani politician and army guy. Today, we are, world famous due to these people and imagine if these guys weren’t here, even Pakistanis would have forgotten that they have a country (starts laughing vigorously),” Qureshi said.
Pakistan will soon issue a RFI from potential vendors for the project. A event on the lines of Pravasi Bharatiya Divas in India will also be organized by a special ministry set up to manage the needs of TPOs. But this one will be only open to terrorists of Pakistani origin. PTOs will be able to get everything from fake sim cards, IMEI less mobile phones, anonymous bank accounts, training and soft loans for procuring arms.
“Everyday and I mean every single day, some terrorist is arrested in some part of the world and guess what all those guys are from Pakistan. It has become so much difficult for us to keep track of the amount of terrorists we are training and this card program will help us do exactly that. These guys are making us proud and this is the least the government of Pakistan can do,” screamed Pakistan’s loud mouth foreign minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi, who was so loud that he broke the windshields of two cars in the parking lot.
Sources say the Pakistani government will issue such cards to terrorists who have been trained or have resided in Pakistan for over 5 years. These terrorists will be henceforth be called as Terrorists of Pakistani Origin (TPO) and will be extended all forms of government aid and protection currently extended to terrorists, who are born in Pakistan. “When I heard that David Coleman Headly was trained by Pakistan, my heart swelled with pride, I could almost hear the Pakistani national anthem ringing in my ears (though later on it was discovered that it was my ringtone). I was thinking..these people bring in so much joy to the average Pakistani politician and army guy. Today, we are, world famous due to these people and imagine if these guys weren’t here, even Pakistanis would have forgotten that they have a country (starts laughing vigorously),” Qureshi said.
Pakistan will soon issue a RFI from potential vendors for the project. A event on the lines of Pravasi Bharatiya Divas in India will also be organized by a special ministry set up to manage the needs of TPOs. But this one will be only open to terrorists of Pakistani origin. PTOs will be able to get everything from fake sim cards, IMEI less mobile phones, anonymous bank accounts, training and soft loans for procuring arms.
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now