Pak to guarantee employment for terrorists

Taking a leaf from India’s rural employment guarantee scheme, Pakistan has decided to launch a similar program for terrorists operating from its soil in the near future. The move received a verbal agreement at an emergency cabinet meet called by PM Gillani in Islamabad yesterday and will be operationalized as soon as a bill on the same is passed by Parliament.

Tentatively christened the Pakistani Employment Scheme for Terrorists and other Expendable Resources (PESTER), the program is targeted against terrorists who are currently on the bench and are up to no good as far as Pakistan is concerned. “These guys who are fed and clothed by us with US money are turning against us with each passing day. With snow blocking all passes to India in Kashmir and reduction in action on the Afghan front, many terrorists have nothing to do and so are using their weapons and skills against us. Once this program is implemented, every terrorist will be able to work for atleast 100 days a year and that will keep them away from all types of mischief aimed against us,” a senior Pakistani Terror affairs ministry official told this blogger over a game of scrabble.

The terrorists, according to sources, will be employed in a range of activities such as extortion, drug trafficking, trade in nuke weapon components and enriched uranium, plotting of low intensity dummy attacks, training para military forces and some may even be sent to china to quell the freedom movement in Tibet. PESTER will be launched under ISI supervision and will have a separate budget.

It may be remembered that Pakistan had tied up with a fast food chain to provide a free meal and toy to listed terrorists once every month.