Nanny for Ambanis

Tired of the drama emanating from the perennial feud between Ambani brothers, the government has decided to recruit a nanny to keep the two from fighting. A decision to this effect was taken at a high level meeting chaired by the home minister in the national capital on Friday. The Home Ministry has subsequently floated a national tender inviting EoIs from potential nannys to handle the two diaper whiners.

“We are tired of seeing these two fight so shamelessly in public. Further they also make sure that the fight receives adequate coverage in the media and even drag the Indian government into their personal ego clashes. The government has decided to crack the whip and get a fearsome nanny to whip these guys into reconciliation. How long can the nation put up with such nonsense,” a senior Company Affairs Ministry official told this blogger.

The government has already shortlisted a few names such as Jayalalitha, Mayawathi, Mamta Banerjee and Brinda Karat for the job and is waiting for the EoIs to come in before taking a final decision. The nanny will be asked to take over immediately and will be given full rights to whip the two into submission using “whatever means available”. The government has also issued a stern warning to the media. “The pen pushers sitting in various media houses are fanning the flames with their biased and curry flavored commentary. These guys should stick to the basics of journalism and give absolutely no coverage to this feud,” the official added.

Meanwhile as this news made its way into the homes of the cry babies, the two started another round of feuding. “The younger one is responsible for this. He was the one who always wanted what I had, my old girlfriend included. I just hope he grows up sometime soon,” Mukesh Ambani said. “Oh yeah? I was never the one who used to whine. Mukesh whines like a two year old whose diaper has not been changed since the ice age,” Anil Ambani said when told about his elder brother’s statement.