Recession is still on

The IMF says recession is over…but we beg to differ..heres what tells us that recession is still on:

• People have started inslling coolers and fans instead of AC in their cars
• People are refusing to throw shoes, even at people who they genuinely hate
• The amount of cotton in “cotton rich” shirts has fallen below the poverty percent (10.3 percent) for the first time since god knows when
• People are taking loans to purchase hand sanitizers
• The Sultan of Brunei has decided to reduce the number of wives he has (they are unmaintainable he says)
• Some celebs have asked Twitter to pay them for their tweets
• Companies are still making employees adhere to their dress code
• Chinese incursions into Indian territory have decreased as they are unable to foot the fuel bill
• Many cruise ships are being turned into oil tankers
• Political leaders and businessmen are fighting it out in the press to get some free media mileage
• Times now has snatched Arnab’s pen..he is now poking the audience using a pencil
• NDTV is planning to use a slate to display figures and graphics
• CNN IBN has asked Rajdeep Sardesai to use Jamoon juice on his hair instead of the costly dye that he uses currently
• Female anchors in news channels have been asked to visit their barbers instead of beauty saloons
• Leafy innerwear is back in fashion after ice age
• Advani has offered to praise Osama for 1 million dollars
• Jacuzzis have been replaced by large copper vessels