Interview of the week: Captain of the North Korean ship detained in India
North Korean ship MV Mu San is now under detention at Port Blair for unauthorised anchoring off the Andaman and Nicobar Islands. It seems that the ship was a seasoned offender and had made several voyages between North Korea and China without maintaining proper records in the past. Our regional affairs bureau chief Rajcreep managed to interview ship's captain, Yon Jung Sun, even before the intelligence agencies could question the dude. Here’s the exclusive.
RC: What are you doing here?
Jung: I was transporting some fire crackers meant for our Chinese friends.
RC: But why come through Andaman Sea? You could have gone the other way round.
Jung: Silly man, you have the brains of a wild amoeba. If we had gone the other way, we would have attracted the attention of Western intelligence agencies. By coming this way, everyone will believe that we were just going to Myanmar.
RC: is this journey approved by the North Korean leadership?
Jung: Our great leader, the one whose stature is taller than the statue of the lady holding a copy of Harry Potter and a torch in USA has given me mail approval on this. He sent this through speed post (pigeons) and had also requested a read receipt on the mail. In fact my passport shows that I am on a diplomatic mission (shows a lotus leaf with something scribbled in Korean).
RC: Have you ever been to Pakistan?
Jung: Ever? I have made many trips to that place to deliver missiles so many times. They used to welcome me like a hero and I have even met their military leadership and Taliban so many times. In fact I was very much around when they the senior management of Taliban was framing their dress code.
RC: Where else have you been to?
Jung: I was there at one of Britney’s shows, have watched J Lo perform and was also there when the famous wardrobe mal..
RC: I meant countries..
Jung: US, Mongolia, Russia, Iran etc.
RC: You went to USA?
Jung: Yup, I was the captain of a container ship that went all the way. I went there to pick up a consignment of pokimon langots for North Korean leadership.
RC: Why?
Jung: This was part of a deal that the North Korean leadership had entered into with the US government. These langots are very popular in North Korea so we were given two shiploads of these langots to stop us from proliferating nuke weapons. In fact our dress code stipulates that these langots should be worn with multi colored Disney shorts and we have an entire army of really busy people who ensure compliance with this code. If anyone is found to violate this rule, he will be shot dead. I am told this rule is also being followed in some Indian companies…
RC: But you guys are still indulging in proliferation..
Jung: due to recession, US has stopped giving us these langots so we have also decided to break all rules and continue the trade in WMD.
RC: One last question. Why are you named Jung?
Jung: I was actually born in Pakistan in 1965 when that country was at war with India. My dad along with mom had gone there to deliver a consignment of weapons to Pakistan. But due to the naval blockade imposed by the Indian Navy they got stuck there and didn’t have much to do for sometime. So I was named after the event that led to my birth.
RC: Thanks for the interview. Have a great time with the intelligence guys.
Jung: Thanks, I will. I have seen many episodes of Sach ka Samna and know how to deal with these guys.
RC: What are you doing here?
Jung: I was transporting some fire crackers meant for our Chinese friends.
RC: But why come through Andaman Sea? You could have gone the other way round.
Jung: Silly man, you have the brains of a wild amoeba. If we had gone the other way, we would have attracted the attention of Western intelligence agencies. By coming this way, everyone will believe that we were just going to Myanmar.
RC: is this journey approved by the North Korean leadership?
Jung: Our great leader, the one whose stature is taller than the statue of the lady holding a copy of Harry Potter and a torch in USA has given me mail approval on this. He sent this through speed post (pigeons) and had also requested a read receipt on the mail. In fact my passport shows that I am on a diplomatic mission (shows a lotus leaf with something scribbled in Korean).
RC: Have you ever been to Pakistan?
Jung: Ever? I have made many trips to that place to deliver missiles so many times. They used to welcome me like a hero and I have even met their military leadership and Taliban so many times. In fact I was very much around when they the senior management of Taliban was framing their dress code.
RC: Where else have you been to?
Jung: I was there at one of Britney’s shows, have watched J Lo perform and was also there when the famous wardrobe mal..
RC: I meant countries..
Jung: US, Mongolia, Russia, Iran etc.
RC: You went to USA?
Jung: Yup, I was the captain of a container ship that went all the way. I went there to pick up a consignment of pokimon langots for North Korean leadership.
RC: Why?
Jung: This was part of a deal that the North Korean leadership had entered into with the US government. These langots are very popular in North Korea so we were given two shiploads of these langots to stop us from proliferating nuke weapons. In fact our dress code stipulates that these langots should be worn with multi colored Disney shorts and we have an entire army of really busy people who ensure compliance with this code. If anyone is found to violate this rule, he will be shot dead. I am told this rule is also being followed in some Indian companies…
RC: But you guys are still indulging in proliferation..
Jung: due to recession, US has stopped giving us these langots so we have also decided to break all rules and continue the trade in WMD.
RC: One last question. Why are you named Jung?
Jung: I was actually born in Pakistan in 1965 when that country was at war with India. My dad along with mom had gone there to deliver a consignment of weapons to Pakistan. But due to the naval blockade imposed by the Indian Navy they got stuck there and didn’t have much to do for sometime. So I was named after the event that led to my birth.
RC: Thanks for the interview. Have a great time with the intelligence guys.
Jung: Thanks, I will. I have seen many episodes of Sach ka Samna and know how to deal with these guys.
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now