Indian government asks bloggers for help

After the sell off at Sharam-el-Sharif, heads have finally started to roll in the Ministry of External Affairs. Acting swiftly, the Indian government has stopped the services of a tea vendor who used to supply tea to the senior foreign affairs mandarins of the ministry. The government has claimed that the joint statement was drafted by these senior officials after drinking the tea supplied by this particular vendor.

The tea vendor has been asked to “move on” and he has not been given a severance package of any kind, sources said. A vegetable vendor operating in the area was also questioned by Intelligence Bureau sources in the wee hours of Wednesday, but was let off with a warning.

The Indian government has also decided to rope in bloggers to draft future joint statements. “We have many good bloggers in India and we feel that these guys can help the Indian government draft statements which even the US won’t understand, let alone Pakistan,” a senior external affairs ministry official told this blogger. He also said that the government has taken a policy decision to make future joint statements revolve around irrelevant topics. “Since Pakistan spoke about Baluchistan, we will speak about bollywood movies, contestants on sach ka samna, channel T etc,” he added.

Informed sources say that the government has finally come to the conclusion that such joint statements or even talks with Pakistan are futile. “Pakistan is as serious about the whole thing as Rakhi Sawant is about global warming. I would rather speak to Nauru or even East Timor. That could fetch us better results than talking to Pakistan. The entire government apparatus there is indulging in high drama,” a source said.