Government to start dope tests in Parliament

In a move designed to eliminate leaders possessing sub-human IQ (dopes), the Indian government has decided to conduct random dope tests starting next session. According to sources close to the government, these tests will be carried out by a National Dope Authority (NDA) and the identified leaders will be asked to resign and join Mayawathi’s party at the earliest.

“In the times of recession, when everyone is talking about employing the best minds, we are stuck with some Neanderthals who are ruining the nation. These guys are leaders who cannot even run a tea stall if their lives depended on it and we can’t have such folks in the supreme decision making body in the country. So we have decided to eliminate them,” an official close to the parliamentary affairs minister told this blogger.

The government will be targeting those members of parliament whose IQ falls fellow the norm mandated by the National IQ Development Authority (NIDA). Sources have also claimed that the honourable CM of UP, Mayawathi, has agreed to rehabilitate such members. She has said that such MPs will be placed in her pet projects such as the Ruin Taj Mahal Mission and the State Mayawathi Statue Proliferation Project. “We need such leaders to run such vital projects as only such people will be able to understand the nuances of the project,” a BSP leader said.

A few such sub-normal IQ leaders are also expected to join the AFPAK team of president Obama in USA. “That will be another team that could recruit these guys,” the source added. Members will be asked to report to the NDA at various times and the test results will be published in various national newspapers. The members will be given a week to challenge the results.