Recession proof babies on the way
A team of scientists have concluded that the babies born in 2009 will be special ones genetically endowed with special powers to endure future recessions. The team led by Genetic specialist Dr Hammerschmidst has published its findings after extensive tests conducted over the last 7 months in the National Biology magazine’s special recession edition.
Hammerschmidst’s team has concluded that parental stress during the ongoing recession has made a significant impact on genes and the effects will be there for everyone to see soon. According to the findings of the team, babies born in 2009 will be able to cope up with any future economic slump in a much better way.
The renowned genetist says that the “recession kids” will be able to hold on to their jobs for a longer period of time. They will be also be able to slip into recession mode with ease; shunning credit cards, meals at expensive restaurants, costly gifts etc., thanks to a mutation in a gene connected with expenditure and income management. When this mode is switched on, the subject will slip into a minimal consumption mode which will last till such a time that the recession exists in the economy.
“In a way we are witnessing evolution. Nature has just walked in and said let me help these guys survive in case such an event happens in the future. Nature is preparing them for the future and I am not surprised at all,” Dr Hammerschmidst said. Claiming that the phenomenon was a global one, the doc said that the results were seen in all nations affected by recession and that some babies were showing the signs of evolution even now. “These babies are more introspective and not very active on social networking sites and are not willing to purchase stuff online,” the doc said.
Hammerschmidst’s team has concluded that parental stress during the ongoing recession has made a significant impact on genes and the effects will be there for everyone to see soon. According to the findings of the team, babies born in 2009 will be able to cope up with any future economic slump in a much better way.
The renowned genetist says that the “recession kids” will be able to hold on to their jobs for a longer period of time. They will be also be able to slip into recession mode with ease; shunning credit cards, meals at expensive restaurants, costly gifts etc., thanks to a mutation in a gene connected with expenditure and income management. When this mode is switched on, the subject will slip into a minimal consumption mode which will last till such a time that the recession exists in the economy.
“In a way we are witnessing evolution. Nature has just walked in and said let me help these guys survive in case such an event happens in the future. Nature is preparing them for the future and I am not surprised at all,” Dr Hammerschmidst said. Claiming that the phenomenon was a global one, the doc said that the results were seen in all nations affected by recession and that some babies were showing the signs of evolution even now. “These babies are more introspective and not very active on social networking sites and are not willing to purchase stuff online,” the doc said.
These kids would be such pessimists i tell you...
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