HAL to fly Mutalik on Valentines day
After Lockheed Martin flew Bindra and an unknown lady on commercial sorties on a F-16, Hindustan Aeronautics Limited (HAL) has invited national moral guardian and all round comedian Pramod Mutalik to fly a sortie on a dilapidated Mig 21 pulled out from retirement.
“We have invited Mutalik and one of his henchmen to pilot a 33 year old aircraft. There is a 78 percent chance of a crash and that is the objective,” an HAL spokesperson told this blogger. The plane, a relic from the past, was rotting at one of HAL’s test sites in Bangalore and creating storage problems for the premier aeronautical research organization.
“The objective is to ensure that the plane crashes taking Mutalik with it. We will ensure that the craft flies only in unpopulated areas and jungles to avoid damage to citizens and infrastructure. “We have asked youngsters from all over the country to witness the event. There will be special seats in the ongoing air show in Bangalore to witness Mutalik turning into a ball of fire and transforming into a footnote in history,” the spokesperson said.
The plane is all fueled and ready for the big day. HAL engineers have already disabled its internal navigation system and its two way VHF radio has been replaced with a local two band FM pocket radio tuned to a station playing mushy love numbers. A camera has been fixed in the cockpit to capture the final moments of the moral moron and ensure that he turns into ashes and does not survive to impose his 4 billion year old ideas on the nation.
Rajcreep adds from Mangalore: A special team has been formed to handle Mutalik’s funeral. The entire consignment of pink chaddis that have been delivered to his residence will also be consigned to flames in his funeral pyre. So Mutalik will essentially be burned along with cotton and polyster langots.
His ashes will be immersed in a local sewage treatment plant.
“We have invited Mutalik and one of his henchmen to pilot a 33 year old aircraft. There is a 78 percent chance of a crash and that is the objective,” an HAL spokesperson told this blogger. The plane, a relic from the past, was rotting at one of HAL’s test sites in Bangalore and creating storage problems for the premier aeronautical research organization.
“The objective is to ensure that the plane crashes taking Mutalik with it. We will ensure that the craft flies only in unpopulated areas and jungles to avoid damage to citizens and infrastructure. “We have asked youngsters from all over the country to witness the event. There will be special seats in the ongoing air show in Bangalore to witness Mutalik turning into a ball of fire and transforming into a footnote in history,” the spokesperson said.
The plane is all fueled and ready for the big day. HAL engineers have already disabled its internal navigation system and its two way VHF radio has been replaced with a local two band FM pocket radio tuned to a station playing mushy love numbers. A camera has been fixed in the cockpit to capture the final moments of the moral moron and ensure that he turns into ashes and does not survive to impose his 4 billion year old ideas on the nation.
Rajcreep adds from Mangalore: A special team has been formed to handle Mutalik’s funeral. The entire consignment of pink chaddis that have been delivered to his residence will also be consigned to flames in his funeral pyre. So Mutalik will essentially be burned along with cotton and polyster langots.
His ashes will be immersed in a local sewage treatment plant.
Comments
If this is possible, I hop the organizers of the air show conduct this event once every year. We will have enough people to fill in the flight for next year too.