Gene mutation creates Mutaliks and Talibans

A team of investigators from United College of Lady Adamgarh (UCLA) have identified a gene responsible for creating nuts like Mutalik and the Talibanis. This gene code named gene code named BNO 64 is implicated in the development of approximately 50% of ideology and morality related disorders in human beings.

The findings, a result of studies conducted over 7 years spanning over 3 continents, 500 human beings, 5 generations of mice and a hippo, will be published by the National Historic Society next week. Team lead Dr. Hammerschmidst in an exclusive interview with this blogger revealed some fascinating findings of the study.

According to Dr. Hammerschmidst, BNO 64 mutation causes excess secretion of a protein called cyclin D1 in the brains of the subject (person). This protein induces the subject to believe that his or her religion\community is in danger of annihilation and must be protected at all costs.D1 also shuts down areas of the brain responsible for rational thinking and channels the ATP conserved to areas responsible for brainwashing which become hyperactive.

In mice that had a mutation in their genes, the team observed a remarkably strange behavior. They noticed that these furry little white creatures were extremely violent and would not allow their partners to mingle freely with other mice. Further, some of them were leading mice mobs and attacking mice that did not go to sleep in the morning hours or were found having cheese during stipulated non-cheese hours with mice from opposite sex. Dr. Hammerschmidst tells us that cheese is mice’s equivalent of an alcoholic beverage.

Dr. Hammerschmidst has recorded more instances of deviant behavior in mice during the course of the study.“We saw one tiny little fur ball that was slightly bald, single and leading groups of hoodlum mice and attacking areas frequented by mice couples. There was another set of mice with long beards that were staying in remote areas of the lab and torturing female mice. The leaders and most mice in the mob had a mutation in the gene,” claims Dr. Hammerschmidst.

Dr. Hammerschmidst says his team found similar behavior in human beings having the same mutation. He is planning to undertake a worldwide tour to present his findings to the global scientific study. “This project has just started I need to meet the human counterparts of these mice and continue the study,” he says with a twinkle in his eye.