Ajmal Kasab is SRS's brand ambassador

In an interesting development, Sri Ram Sena has announced that it has appointed dreaded terrorist and Pakistani barbarian Ajmal Kasab as its brand ambassador.

The announcement was made by SRS chief Pramod Nutalik at a press conference in Bangalore on Friday. “Kasab represents the highest degree of brainwashing and we needed someone who could inspire our hired goons. SRS hoodlums now have someone they can look upto and admire while doing their routine anti-social activities, SRS spokesperson Mula "Ma'soum Afghani" said.

It may be remembered that Mula is a former Taliban spokesperson deputed to SRS by Taliban. Mula joined SRS as part of a staff exchange agreement signed between the two organizations recently. As part of the agreement, Taliban will be transferring much of it’s Jurassic knowledge to SRS whilst the later devices unique schemes and implements stone age policies to terrorize ordinary Indian citizens.

“Our hoodlums and we are the proverbial scum of the society. With societies progressing at a decent rate, primitive ideologies were being pushed to the fringes at a much faster rate. All that will be history soon. A beginning has been made and we will not rest until the entire nation is pushed to the stone age and we form a south Asian stone age zone extending from Afghanistan to Bangladesh,” Mula asserted.

SRS has already received affiliation from premier freak associations such as the Hoodlums India Ltd (Hi), Constipated Goons Association (CGoA) and Freaky Pests Association ( FePA). The business wing of SRS is affiliated to the Confederation of Indian Goons (CIG) and the women’s wing of SRS is associated with the Aunty-Social Ladies Association (ASLI). It is said that SRS is patronized by some of the corporate biggies in the countries. Mobile operator Scaretell offers SRS goons a special “lummox” package under which goon to goon calls are subsidized. Scaretell instead uses the services of these goons to terrorize customers into buying expensive packages.