Ramsay brothers to launch news channel

Ramsay bros, the production house holding the world record for churning out the maximum number of horror movies, has decided to bid farewell to bollywood and start a news channel. The decision was taken at a meeting chaired by daddy Ramsay in Mumbai recently.

“Till recently we used to have an audience that used to laugh at some of our movies. Now, people go hysterical. One of the audience members even told me that I should start making comedy movies rather than the horror ones”, daddy Ramsay said. Sources told this blogger that with terrorist strikes, recession, downturns and cost cutting grabbing primetime in news channels, many people were getting their quota of horror from the idiot box itself.

Junior Ramsay agrees. “The other day someone had a heart attack watching a news channel where the anchor was acting like he was on fire. We live in times where people are more afraid of terrorists and news channel anchors than ghosts. In fact people are ready to live in haunted houses but cannot live in a sensitive area from the terror point of view,” he said.

“Today news channels dish out more terror than what people can take and we feel that it is the best way of scaring people. We have already hired a few scary fidgety anchors and the ladies will not be allowed to visit a beauty parlor before a newscast. That itself will scare many people,” Junior said.

In fact ghosts themselves are running for cover. This blogger met a ghost who used to haunt a house near Brigade road in Bangalore. He saw the whole incident on TV and has had a nervous breakdown. “I haven’t been able to sleep in the day ever since and that is affecting my ability to scare people in the night. In fact these Pakistanis look more horrible than any of my ghostly friends. Since then I have not been able to gather enough courage to watch a new channel. The lady anchor who was making strange noises quadrupled the terror quotient and so we have started a group against news channels on facebook,” the ghost said.