Shoe terrorists...
Frontline Pakistani terrorist organization ISI has decided to raise a shoe throwing wing. This decision, coming in the wake of an unsuccessful attempt by an Iraqi journalist to 'shoe' the US president, will open up a new frontier for the global terror machine.
ISI has set the ball rolling and zeroed in on a few locations for setting up training camps for these ‘Jutadis’ (subject to approval from the ISI branding team). These camps will train Jutadis to effectively throw shoes and escape without being caught. They will also be taught to collect these shoes and return, so that they can be sold at a premium later. The proceeds from the sale will be invested in expanding the existing terror infrastructure in Pakistan and churning out more terrorists to cause destruction and havoc in countries around the world.
“There is tremendous potential here. We want to be the first mover in this space and exploit all possibilities. We could never have gained so much mileage with the kind of work we do now,” claimed Adim, ISIs chief terror development officer.
In a meeting with representatives from Lashkar, Al Badr, Jamat Ul Dawa and HuJI, ISI chief Suja Pasha asked these groups to work with his men to scout for volunteers from ISI’s terror nurseries outside Lahore, Karachi and Muzzafrabad.
Meanwhile, ally and co-terror sponsor China has said that it will help Pakistan develop the shoes needed for carrying out sophisticated shoe attacks. A spokesperson of the Chinese embassy in Islamabad said on Friday that already China was helping Pakistan arm terrorists with Chinese weapons and the Chinese government was keen on extending this partnership to new ventures. China has dispatched a contingent of the latest Y11 shoes which can be guided to its target after the thrower releases it. These shoes will be distributed among the first batch of Jutadis, expected to pass out from the terror nurseries in mid-2009.
ISI has set the ball rolling and zeroed in on a few locations for setting up training camps for these ‘Jutadis’ (subject to approval from the ISI branding team). These camps will train Jutadis to effectively throw shoes and escape without being caught. They will also be taught to collect these shoes and return, so that they can be sold at a premium later. The proceeds from the sale will be invested in expanding the existing terror infrastructure in Pakistan and churning out more terrorists to cause destruction and havoc in countries around the world.
“There is tremendous potential here. We want to be the first mover in this space and exploit all possibilities. We could never have gained so much mileage with the kind of work we do now,” claimed Adim, ISIs chief terror development officer.
In a meeting with representatives from Lashkar, Al Badr, Jamat Ul Dawa and HuJI, ISI chief Suja Pasha asked these groups to work with his men to scout for volunteers from ISI’s terror nurseries outside Lahore, Karachi and Muzzafrabad.
Meanwhile, ally and co-terror sponsor China has said that it will help Pakistan develop the shoes needed for carrying out sophisticated shoe attacks. A spokesperson of the Chinese embassy in Islamabad said on Friday that already China was helping Pakistan arm terrorists with Chinese weapons and the Chinese government was keen on extending this partnership to new ventures. China has dispatched a contingent of the latest Y11 shoes which can be guided to its target after the thrower releases it. These shoes will be distributed among the first batch of Jutadis, expected to pass out from the terror nurseries in mid-2009.
We definitely needed this wing..Cuz there are so many deserving candiidates who miss the shoe on them just cuz ppl ainttrained enuf.. :P
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