Plainspeak: Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin, the flamboyant governor of Alaska, flew in to Mumbai last week for a special episode of the weekly show Toffee with Taran. The governor spoke about her plans for the forthcoming elections and the things she loves to hate. Here’s the exclusive transcript of the show.
Taran: Thanks Sarah for joining us on the show. How are you feeling tonight?
Sarah: Much better if you would leave out those 500 Pakistani politicians who want to take me out on a date. These guys are calling me day in and day out; apparently their president has set some sort of precedent. I am getting bouquets, CDs containing romantic songs, chocolates, books and one fellow even wanted to gift me the entire North-West Frontier province of their country along with over 350 donkeys. Am getting tired of this.
Taran: That figures. So how is the campaign coming?
Sarah: We are trailing the democrats, but hope to soon catch up as soon as we unleash our secret weapon.
Taran: Whats that?
Sarah: I will be posing for a prominent guy’s magazine. The only condition is that it will be available only to those people who vote for us.
Taran: You mean SI or the other one? Sarah: SI will be after four years during the next elections. This year it is the other one. Apparently the news of this has reached as far away as Pakistan where some guy called Osama has subscribed to all issues of both these magazines for over a year. In fact he has been sending add requests on facebook from different accounts.
Taran: Don’t you feel weird receiving all that attention. It may in fact take the spotlight away from your true leadership capabilities.
Sarah: I don’t think so. You see I have a proven track record back home.
Taran: Oh as governor of Alaska…
Sarah: No silly, as a hockey mom. You see when you can run a home with so many kids belonging to different age groups, pyjama sewing inlaws, pesky neighbors and leaking faucets, you can manage anything.
Taran: Do you have a roadmap for managing the economy in recession?Sarah: we will unveil the new plan soon. The economic revival will be based on a bill that we will constantly discuss in the congress. This time we will promise a one trillion dollar bailout.
Taran: Where will you get that kind of money?
Sarah: Who needs it? I never said we will release…we will just promise and keep it there. These rougue CEOs will start working more efficiently thinking that this money will line up their pockets. It is like dangling the carrot before the donkey. If these CEOs still wont work, I will threaten to send each one on a double date with Mayawathi and Mamta Banerjee.
Taran: So thanks once again for joining us on the show. Here are the toffees as promised.
Sarah: Before I leave, please ensure that my flight does not fly via Pakistan. Those politicians out there may just flag my plane down to date me…
Taran: Thanks Sarah for joining us on the show. How are you feeling tonight?
Sarah: Much better if you would leave out those 500 Pakistani politicians who want to take me out on a date. These guys are calling me day in and day out; apparently their president has set some sort of precedent. I am getting bouquets, CDs containing romantic songs, chocolates, books and one fellow even wanted to gift me the entire North-West Frontier province of their country along with over 350 donkeys. Am getting tired of this.
Taran: That figures. So how is the campaign coming?
Sarah: We are trailing the democrats, but hope to soon catch up as soon as we unleash our secret weapon.
Taran: Whats that?
Sarah: I will be posing for a prominent guy’s magazine. The only condition is that it will be available only to those people who vote for us.
Taran: You mean SI or the other one? Sarah: SI will be after four years during the next elections. This year it is the other one. Apparently the news of this has reached as far away as Pakistan where some guy called Osama has subscribed to all issues of both these magazines for over a year. In fact he has been sending add requests on facebook from different accounts.
Taran: Don’t you feel weird receiving all that attention. It may in fact take the spotlight away from your true leadership capabilities.
Sarah: I don’t think so. You see I have a proven track record back home.
Taran: Oh as governor of Alaska…
Sarah: No silly, as a hockey mom. You see when you can run a home with so many kids belonging to different age groups, pyjama sewing inlaws, pesky neighbors and leaking faucets, you can manage anything.
Taran: Do you have a roadmap for managing the economy in recession?Sarah: we will unveil the new plan soon. The economic revival will be based on a bill that we will constantly discuss in the congress. This time we will promise a one trillion dollar bailout.
Taran: Where will you get that kind of money?
Sarah: Who needs it? I never said we will release…we will just promise and keep it there. These rougue CEOs will start working more efficiently thinking that this money will line up their pockets. It is like dangling the carrot before the donkey. If these CEOs still wont work, I will threaten to send each one on a double date with Mayawathi and Mamta Banerjee.
Taran: So thanks once again for joining us on the show. Here are the toffees as promised.
Sarah: Before I leave, please ensure that my flight does not fly via Pakistan. Those politicians out there may just flag my plane down to date me…
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now