A casanova prez

Last week, the President of Bananic Republic of Pakistan was filmed doing the monkey act to perfection. The dude who considers himself to be a Casanova, tried to deploy his charms to impress hockey mom and US VP aspirant Sarah Palin. Our correspondent Rajcreep Sorefakeye travelled all the way to Washington and interviewed the dude on his state of mind. Here’s the exclusive interview.

RS: Whats wrong with you Mr. President? You were supposed to be on an official trip… how can you mix business with pleasure?
AZ: Dude, its all part of the new diplomatic strategy adopted by Pakistan. We no longer believe in just saying hello, hi and then talking business but, we feel that if we can impress the right people with our charms, we can get our work done faster.

RS: Yeah, I know last time your former PM tried the same on Condoleezza and landed up with egg on his and Pakistan’s face.
AZ: There will be some failures. But that doesn’t mean you give up so soon. You gotta keep the faith and try out new things. I was actually planning to ask Sarah for a date but she said that she won’t date me till we allow US forces to operate deep inside Pakistani territory. I instantly agreed, but then Mc Cain called up and said that he wont allow her to go out with me till I changed the ISI chief, resumed supplies for US troops in Afghanistan and return the towel I stole from his bathroom, when I visited him the other day.

RS: And then?
AZ: Then I agree to the first and the second condition, but couldn’t agree to the third one. I mean I really liked that towel with pink lifesize pokimons embedded in them. I infact wanted to surprise Sarah by turning up in that very towel…but it was very cold in New York that day so the plans were changed.

RS: Mr. Zardari, I am sure Benazir would be turning in her grave now.
AZ: who is that?

RS: Your late wife..who was assassinated some months ago…its not even a year yet.
AZ: Oh, her? She won’t mind. After all we are doing all this in Pakistan’s national interest. Every Pakistani I know has shown interest in this whole affair. They are all charged up. In fact your bollywood folks have already approached me for a movie. Mahesh Bhat called me yesterday and told me that he will launch a film on me and my crush on Sarah. This film will depict me as the dictator of a nuclear armed banana republic who falls in love with a US presidential candidate in the back drop of a financial crisis in the US.

RS: Shouldn’t you be worried about running your country? Do I have to repeat all the problems that you folks face as a nation? The last think Pakistan needs is a Casanova prez.
AZ: Who said that? Just look at Clinton’s years in US. He had dated so many non influential people and still ran the country well enough. I am only taking this a step further and trying to date influential leaders. There’s great promise in the potential of this business model that Clinton has shown us. Besides I am sure Sarah is also trying to do the same…although I guess she is speed dating leaders.

RS: The mullahs have issued a fatwa against you Arent you worried?
AZ: Yeah right!! I am worried. The last time they issued a fatwa against me for wearing bunny bathroom slippers and few months back they issued one as I was wearing a pokimon pajama with a Mickey Mouse T-shirt.