Shame on our elected reps
Last week saw parliamentarians exhibiting exemplary behavior on the floor of the house. Two-timing MP Chimmen lal was at the center of it all. He was the one who was seen waving a wad of currency and shouting some obscenities at his learned colleagues. We caught up with the dude and found out what was wrong with the scene. Heres the interview.
Q: This is another example of shameless behavior from our elected representatives. Why did you come to parliament with those notes?
A: I just wanted to show that people were buying and selling parliamentarians like cattle and I was very angry about it.
Q: You were angry that some people were indulging in horse trading?
A: No yaar. I was angry that MPs were being sold for pittance. I mean just look at the stats. 34 crores for a first timer—that’s not just bad that’s miserable; the prevailing rate for two term MPs is around 75 crores and that’s pocket money for me. I was symbolically highlighting the fact that parliamentarians were not getting their due. How can people expect us to survive on that kind of money? And then citizens complain that we take bribes for everything.
Q: What sort of excuse is that? Are you aware that nearly 30 percent of the country’s population does not get three square meals a day? Are you aware of people living below poverty line, who go to bed hungry?
A: I do. Infact I know what exactly these people feel. I have myself gone to bed hungry so many times. Whenever my wife is angry with me, she refuses to give me food and feeds the leftovers to our pet. There have been worse days, when I was asked to sleep in the doghouse. So don’t tell me about poverty.
Q: On a critical issue like energy security, why didn’t the members conduct themselves in a civilized manner and ensure a healthy debate?
A: I have no time for healthy debates. This MP sitting behind me prepared a ‘tail’ using the debate notice and stuck it to my pyjamma while I was not looking. When I stood up to speak, everyone started laughing and I was embarrassed. Later on I went and checked the security cam footage which showed the culprit in action and I immediately rushed to the well of the house and challenged the guy to a duel. He rushed towards me with his slippers and I grabbed them and hit him with his own footwear and threw him on the table of speaker Somenut Chatterbox. I was a champion wrestler during my college days, you see.
Q: So this is what we taxpayers get for all our hard earned money…
A: Why are you cribbing? This is first class action; have you seen anything like this on T V, for free? Outside you have to shell out big bucks to watch the same action and besides it half as exciting as what we dish out. In fact on popular demand we have opened up two channels to cover all the action from both houses of parliament. These channels have been received well by the audience and we are planning to convert them into pay channels in the coming days. I am told that in the USA, these channels are part of the wrestling action package in various networks.
Q: No use arguing with you. God save our country.
A: Yeah, we have also left that job to god.
Q: This is another example of shameless behavior from our elected representatives. Why did you come to parliament with those notes?
A: I just wanted to show that people were buying and selling parliamentarians like cattle and I was very angry about it.
Q: You were angry that some people were indulging in horse trading?
A: No yaar. I was angry that MPs were being sold for pittance. I mean just look at the stats. 34 crores for a first timer—that’s not just bad that’s miserable; the prevailing rate for two term MPs is around 75 crores and that’s pocket money for me. I was symbolically highlighting the fact that parliamentarians were not getting their due. How can people expect us to survive on that kind of money? And then citizens complain that we take bribes for everything.
Q: What sort of excuse is that? Are you aware that nearly 30 percent of the country’s population does not get three square meals a day? Are you aware of people living below poverty line, who go to bed hungry?
A: I do. Infact I know what exactly these people feel. I have myself gone to bed hungry so many times. Whenever my wife is angry with me, she refuses to give me food and feeds the leftovers to our pet. There have been worse days, when I was asked to sleep in the doghouse. So don’t tell me about poverty.
Q: On a critical issue like energy security, why didn’t the members conduct themselves in a civilized manner and ensure a healthy debate?
A: I have no time for healthy debates. This MP sitting behind me prepared a ‘tail’ using the debate notice and stuck it to my pyjamma while I was not looking. When I stood up to speak, everyone started laughing and I was embarrassed. Later on I went and checked the security cam footage which showed the culprit in action and I immediately rushed to the well of the house and challenged the guy to a duel. He rushed towards me with his slippers and I grabbed them and hit him with his own footwear and threw him on the table of speaker Somenut Chatterbox. I was a champion wrestler during my college days, you see.
Q: So this is what we taxpayers get for all our hard earned money…
A: Why are you cribbing? This is first class action; have you seen anything like this on T V, for free? Outside you have to shell out big bucks to watch the same action and besides it half as exciting as what we dish out. In fact on popular demand we have opened up two channels to cover all the action from both houses of parliament. These channels have been received well by the audience and we are planning to convert them into pay channels in the coming days. I am told that in the USA, these channels are part of the wrestling action package in various networks.
Q: No use arguing with you. God save our country.
A: Yeah, we have also left that job to god.
Like the 3rd answer..quite a perspective r MP's seem to have...
ReplyDeleteand well...the last one tops up pretty well.. :)
Good one ... :)
ReplyDeleteThanks folks...glad u loved it :)
ReplyDelete