Relationship 2.0 is here

In a move designed to please nerds and other busy folks around the world, mother nature has announced that the definition of relationships will soon be expanded to cover technology-based relationships. It may be noted that so far long distance liaisons, sustained over phone calls, chat and other ‘artificial’ means of communication, were not recognized by nature as ‘relationship’. With this new move however, all that is expected to change.

Elaborating on the decision, self-appointed nature spokesperson Fakenaka Gandhi said that the conventional type of relationship, needing physical proximity between folks, had outgrown its utility and that people were now asking for more. “In this era of communications at the speed of thought, human bonds were suffering due to distances created by geography and time that created much discomfort for folks. Nature has now accepted long distance relationships and has assured that future generations of human beings will be able to do the unthinkable (breed without physical contact)”, she said.

The decision has been welcomed by various bodies such as the Geeks and Freaks Association (GFA), National Association of Geeks (NAG), Geeks and Nerds Association of Timbuktu(GNAT) and Nerds in Action (NIA). According to Ness Wadia, chairman of the Long Distance Lovers Association of India, this will help many relationships that have hitherto suffered due to lack of proximity. He further said that with air travel becoming costly, people were postponing plans to meet their loved ones. “Infact, the other day I wanted to meet Priety but couldn’t because I simply could not afford the ticket in my own airline. I tried to use my bargaining skills but the staff simply threw me out,” he said.

So what exactly is relationship 2.0 or R2? R2 is the next level of evolution designed to enable human beings to enter into relationships across the world through media such as internet, sat and conventional phones and even Jurassic technologies like blue tooth and IR. According to experts, nature will probably enable R2 through a mutation in genes ERCP 56 and ERCF 63 that are believed to harbor super intelligence, telepathy and remote influence capabilities.