Funny musharaf interview
Gen. Musharaf, the president of Pakistan, has been in the news recently. With the new regime tightening the noose around his neck, the dude is now in a tight spot. Our correspondent Bhakra Dutt traveled to Islamabad recently and caught up with the general. Here’s the exclusive interview.
Bhakra Dutt: What’s with the ‘I am not a vegetable’ bit?
Mush: these days people are calling me so many things and so I have to deny everything in advance. Since I cannot read all media reports and respond to each and every catcall individually, I have decided to be proactive and deny everything in anticipation. So no one has called me a vegetable so far; but, I am sure they will soon.
Bhakra Dutt: You have claimed that the democratic forces in Pakistan are humiliating you. Can you elaborate?
Mush: These days they are trying to cut me down to size. I have the ruling coalition ministers calling me and asking me to repair their plumbing, mind their kids, water their plants, take their pets out for walk, do the shopping and so on. I did agree to let them decide what role I will be playing in the new setup, but this is taking things too far. The other day one dude called me and asked me to take his mother-in-law to a beauty parlor and that’s unpardonable.
Bhakra Dutt: You claim to be a rough and tough guy. But the other day you had your tail between your legs and wanted to escape to USA. Remember the A 380 stationed at Chagli airbase…comment.
Mush: Oh I am rough and tough. Infact, I am more like an urban cowboy. So far I have rounded up so many outlaws in those video games that I play. As regards the A380, that was a joke we were just seeing if the base can hold an A380, that’s all. It was a test.
Bhakra Dutt: come on Mr Mush, we were told that the 380 had come to carry your belongings. Also that the 380 had come, since you had so many stuffed toys that a normal aircraft wouldn’t have been able to carry…
Mush: I don’t agree. Besides, it will take more than an A380 to carry all my stuffed toys. The bunnies themselves will occupy one A 380, then there are the pokemons, the glowworms, galactic defenders and the robo toys and I wouldn’t be caught without them anytime.
Bhakra Dutt: What have you achieved in the last 10 years and what are your future plans?
Mush: the future appears quite bright, I can see lots of good things happening, offlate. I am able to walk freely on the streets, the Taliban is far away, Karzai has stopped fighting with me and Bush is still sending my rations and also the Garfield comics that I like so much. I have been able to complete my Calvin collection and buy all the latest gameboxes with US aid. These games have helped me develop strategies to lead my country in tough times and I am too happy.
Bhakra Dutt: thanks for taking time off from your busy schedule to talk to us.
Mush: the pleasures all mine. Now if you don’t mind I would like to get back to the bunnies.
Bhakra Dutt: What’s with the ‘I am not a vegetable’ bit?
Mush: these days people are calling me so many things and so I have to deny everything in advance. Since I cannot read all media reports and respond to each and every catcall individually, I have decided to be proactive and deny everything in anticipation. So no one has called me a vegetable so far; but, I am sure they will soon.
Bhakra Dutt: You have claimed that the democratic forces in Pakistan are humiliating you. Can you elaborate?
Mush: These days they are trying to cut me down to size. I have the ruling coalition ministers calling me and asking me to repair their plumbing, mind their kids, water their plants, take their pets out for walk, do the shopping and so on. I did agree to let them decide what role I will be playing in the new setup, but this is taking things too far. The other day one dude called me and asked me to take his mother-in-law to a beauty parlor and that’s unpardonable.
Bhakra Dutt: You claim to be a rough and tough guy. But the other day you had your tail between your legs and wanted to escape to USA. Remember the A 380 stationed at Chagli airbase…comment.
Mush: Oh I am rough and tough. Infact, I am more like an urban cowboy. So far I have rounded up so many outlaws in those video games that I play. As regards the A380, that was a joke we were just seeing if the base can hold an A380, that’s all. It was a test.
Bhakra Dutt: come on Mr Mush, we were told that the 380 had come to carry your belongings. Also that the 380 had come, since you had so many stuffed toys that a normal aircraft wouldn’t have been able to carry…
Mush: I don’t agree. Besides, it will take more than an A380 to carry all my stuffed toys. The bunnies themselves will occupy one A 380, then there are the pokemons, the glowworms, galactic defenders and the robo toys and I wouldn’t be caught without them anytime.
Bhakra Dutt: What have you achieved in the last 10 years and what are your future plans?
Mush: the future appears quite bright, I can see lots of good things happening, offlate. I am able to walk freely on the streets, the Taliban is far away, Karzai has stopped fighting with me and Bush is still sending my rations and also the Garfield comics that I like so much. I have been able to complete my Calvin collection and buy all the latest gameboxes with US aid. These games have helped me develop strategies to lead my country in tough times and I am too happy.
Bhakra Dutt: thanks for taking time off from your busy schedule to talk to us.
Mush: the pleasures all mine. Now if you don’t mind I would like to get back to the bunnies.
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now