Fraud asana
This week we discover some of the strange asanas (yoga postures) that are being practiced in some parts of the world.
Bachpan asana: Part of this asana can be done online through blogs. Start with a 3 crore paycheck for writing 3 lines a month, cribbing about your professional rivals.
Dubya Asana: This asana should be performed with an empty brain. Begin by deliberately mispronouncing common English terms and create your own vocabulary. Ensure visibility in the press by issuing irrelevant statements and lead your country into a bogus war. Do continuously for eight years, till the national economy enters recession and unemployment hits an all time high, then quit.
Devil Gowda Asana: To do this asana, become a national leader by hook or crook, occupy last benches of Lok Sabha and enter into a deep slumber every time a debate on an issue of national importance is taken up. Next ensure that your family and friends get petrol bunks and promote your family interests, whenever you can. Ignoring national interests and country’s needs is a must for doing this asana, along with nil moral values. Performing this asana regularly could help you become the prime minister of the country.
Commie Asana: this asana has been propagated by the Chinese to counter the growing Indian influence in the global arena. To perform this asana, first oppose all decisions that are in national interest. Then, support the Indian government from inside while opposing all decisions from outside. This asana can only be performed by anti-national elements. By regularly practicing this asana, you will gain a ringside seat in the forthcoming Beijing Olympics and be categorized as a Jurassic commie traitor.
Musharaf Asana: simply act dumb, thrive on foreign rations, throw your weight around and wait for your government to throw you out of the country. Before doing this asana, please ensure that a fully fueled A380 is always available in one of the easily accessible air bases in your country.
Mess Wadia Asana. First date a star from the local film industry and keep chasing her around like you have nothing else to do. To conduct this asana successfully, you need to ensure that you (as a couple) are visible to the media at all times.
News channel asana: one of the easiest asanas. To do this, start a news channel and highlight every single news item, including missing slippers, branded manhole covers, on the run celeb pets, rains on cloudy days etc as “breaking news”.
Vijay Mallya Asana: simply follow all steps as described for the Richard Branson asana.
Bachpan asana: Part of this asana can be done online through blogs. Start with a 3 crore paycheck for writing 3 lines a month, cribbing about your professional rivals.
Dubya Asana: This asana should be performed with an empty brain. Begin by deliberately mispronouncing common English terms and create your own vocabulary. Ensure visibility in the press by issuing irrelevant statements and lead your country into a bogus war. Do continuously for eight years, till the national economy enters recession and unemployment hits an all time high, then quit.
Devil Gowda Asana: To do this asana, become a national leader by hook or crook, occupy last benches of Lok Sabha and enter into a deep slumber every time a debate on an issue of national importance is taken up. Next ensure that your family and friends get petrol bunks and promote your family interests, whenever you can. Ignoring national interests and country’s needs is a must for doing this asana, along with nil moral values. Performing this asana regularly could help you become the prime minister of the country.
Commie Asana: this asana has been propagated by the Chinese to counter the growing Indian influence in the global arena. To perform this asana, first oppose all decisions that are in national interest. Then, support the Indian government from inside while opposing all decisions from outside. This asana can only be performed by anti-national elements. By regularly practicing this asana, you will gain a ringside seat in the forthcoming Beijing Olympics and be categorized as a Jurassic commie traitor.
Musharaf Asana: simply act dumb, thrive on foreign rations, throw your weight around and wait for your government to throw you out of the country. Before doing this asana, please ensure that a fully fueled A380 is always available in one of the easily accessible air bases in your country.
Mess Wadia Asana. First date a star from the local film industry and keep chasing her around like you have nothing else to do. To conduct this asana successfully, you need to ensure that you (as a couple) are visible to the media at all times.
News channel asana: one of the easiest asanas. To do this, start a news channel and highlight every single news item, including missing slippers, branded manhole covers, on the run celeb pets, rains on cloudy days etc as “breaking news”.
Vijay Mallya Asana: simply follow all steps as described for the Richard Branson asana.
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now