The most-hated Indian

Indian Idle gets underway

The race is one to crown India’s least wanted character(s). The Indian Idle, a contest to determine the nation’s most-hated and loathed people kicked off in a grand fashion in the capital yesterday.

This year’s edition brings together some of the most despicable and devilish creatures, the likes of which have brought much shame to the country. These are pests, jerks and freaks who the country hopes would stay idle for the betterment of the nation. The winner gets a one-way deportation ticket to Timbuktu and his Indian passport is revoked in a public ceremony.

As usual, even this year there is a commie at the helm of the rat race. With his undying loyalty towards his Chinese paymasters, Prakash Carrot AKA puky carrot is said to be the front runner for the award. He has done his best to scuttle the nuke deal, use armed bandits to kill innocents in Bengal, preach his pre-stone age commie theories and of course prevent the Indian government from doing anything good. Karat, a backstage commie, who was catapulted to the helm of affairs of his Chinese party in India a few years back, has slipped into his new role with ease. In just over two years, Karat has managed to please his commie masters in Beijing and is also said to be in the race for an award from the Chinese government in the months to come.

Karat would have been a clear winner hadn’t it been for our next idle. This is the dude who has many professions and manages all of them with equal ease. He is a real-estate agent, a tout, a petroleum vendor, a certified pest and a nuisance to the nation. Say hello to Deve Gowda, a real roach, who will stop at nothing to further his personal interests. DG is a well-known pest in Karnataka and also has the honor of being the worst PM of India. This son of whatever has been a hurdle to the progress of Karnataka since ages and his favorite hobby is to block projects for which he has not been paid. In the last 40 months or so, every file linked to infrastructure projects has gone through his desk and the money that he must have made in all this is anybody’s guess. It’s no wonder that the people of Karnataka want to deport this devil’s reincarnation to his native in Timbuktu and hope that he never returns to haunt the state.

Among the other contestants is a dude by name Rajat Sharma. He is credited with running one of the nation’s cheapest news channel. By cheap we are not talking money, but content, presentation, fake stings and moral and ethical values. Breaking news according to his channel is a fake dongi fakir dancing with a snake or ghosts haunting some remote non-descript village. His channel also has the maximum number of fake stories and in the guise of news, is known to shamelessly propagate superstitions and unscientific values. His channel is a clear waste of a transponder in space, not to mention peoples’ time. Rajat could well be the dark horse in the race.

Other contenders for the ticket include Petroleum vendor Nutwar Singh, Jinnah lover Oddvani, Jaswant Singh (who is doing more ‘mole searching’ these days), Mufti Mohhamed Sayyed, among others.