Kapil Sibal, is spearheading the nuke bachao moment for UPA government. From speaking in hushed tones to threatening commies, Kapil has been there and done that. In this candid interview with our nuke correspondent U R A Niyam, Kapil squeals in a few interesting details on some of the backroom discussions that Congress had with the commies.
UN: First of all you seem to be extraordinarily passionate about the 123 agreement…
KS: I am in fact I was obsessed with 123 since my school days as I used to get those numbers frequently in my exams. Later during my professional days I used to fleece clients within just three minutes.
UN: is it true that you had a fight with Prakash Carrot?
KS: It was a minor disagreement that's all…
UN: you ended up calling Carrot “uncle” and you say nothing happened.
KS: you see I tried convincing him on many occasions but he was adamant. Finally I told him…”hey uncle, the UPA wants to implement the nuke deal, zara side dena”
UN: and then…
KS: All hell broke loose. Carrot trouped out of the meeting, followed by his cronies and called his Chinese masters to complain about me. But unfortunately for him, the Chinese are busy with the Olympics so they told him that they will settle the matter, later. That's when he declared that elections are around the corner to put pressure on me to offer apologies for calling him uncle.
UN: if UPA is so obsessed with the deal why not ditch the comies and go ahead?
KS: Its not that easy. You see Carrot has told opposition leader L K Odvani that I am going around and calling people uncle and that he is next on my list. So Odvani has kept a safe distance from us and opposed the deal along with commies. So basically we don’t have much support to go ahead. The only support we have is from Rastrawadi Uncle Dal which has 1 illustrious member in parliament.
UN: What’s the way ahead in case the deal falls through…
KS: we will launch a nation-wide campaign to expose all the uncles who spoiled this deal. We wont spare anyone and then we go to the polls. These commie uncles based on their performance in two states are holding the entire nation to ransom. Can Carrot tell me where he can get the 1,00,000 MW power deficit that we are anticipating in the next 2 decades? Can he tell me how the industry will be able to sustain above 10 % GDP growth rates without power? Can Brinda Karrot tell me how she will be able to finish her evening make up in darkness, if power is not there? Can L K Oddvani tell the nation how he can run his Rath Yatras in roads filled with darkness? How will Justwant singh write about moles and gophers in his fantasy books without power? All these are big anti-national uncles who have lost their ability to think and need to be wacked and deported…
A preview of the ad to be released by UPA
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now