breaking news: India to sterilize politicians

New Delhi: in what could be described as a move to cleanse the nation of criminals, hoarders, cheats and evil people, the Indian government has announced that it will be sterilizing all politicians, irrespective of political affiliation. The long-awaited move has been welcomed by all sections of society and many analysts and policy watchers have hailed the decision as a historic one.

The recent involvement of some MPs in human trafficking has been seen by the government as the last straw in a long chain of evil misdeeds committed by politicians. It may be recollected that the Chimmen Lal committee set up by the government to improve the political conscience of the nation had recommended this as a priority action item. The committee in its 1200 page report had equated politicians with stray dogs and said that both were fast becoming a nuisance to public and needed to be eliminateddeported soon. It had said that the moral degradation of Indian politicians had reached its zenith and was corrupting the society as a whole and that it was high time that the nation was handed over to the people who could run it better. The high-powered committee felt that youngsters with practical ideas and unlimited energy had to take over governance of the nation from the rotten deadwood.

Furthermore, it was seen that many politicians were too busy "spreading their genes" to worry about governance. From bribes for questions to bribes for arms deals and so on, these "termites" are acting with impunity to eat away the very foundation of the nation.

These immoral and unethical politicians without any administrative acumen were often found wanting when it came to taking critical decisions to run the nation better.

The government it seems has agreed to all recommendations and has allocated a budget of Rs 100 crore for this project. This program to be christened soon will run in parallel with the stray dog sterilization programe run by Menaka Gandhi. The same infrastructure will be used for this purpose. It has been estimated that it would take around Rs 100 to sterilize one politician. In case of shortage, money would be channeled from the MP Local Area Development fund.

Let this be a warning to all politicians. The patience of Indian public is wearing thin with every scandal and the day may not be far when this news item finds a place in the front page of all newspapers.