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Showing posts from September, 2013

Terror training camp spotted on Pakistani quake island

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A small island created in the Arabian Sea by the huge earthquake that hit southwest Pakistan has fascinated locals but experts say it is unlikely to last long. Even more interesting was the fact that within an hour of the island coming up in the Arabian Sea, a terror training camp was spotted on it by Indian intel satellites.

The 7.7-magnitude quake struck on Tuesday in Balochistan's remote Awaran district. Off the coastline near the port of Gwadar, some 400 kilometres (250 miles) from the epicentre, locals were astonished to see a new piece of land surface from the waves. It is not a small thing, but a huge rock like thingi which has emerged from under the water," Gwadar-based geologist Asim Rustam said explaining the scientific aspect of the episode.

The island was immediately occupied by Lashkar-e-newislandi, a terror group formed with assistance from the ISI and Pakistan army. The group has already established 50 tents on the island alongwith terror infrastructure and br…

Wife runs away with onion vendor, husband to sue the government

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A guy from Bhopal whose wife ran away with an onion vendor plans to drag the union government to court over its failure to curb the soaring prices of essential commodities and for his wife not running away earlier.

Ammagaruqnik Uluriaq (name changed for privacy reasons), was upset because onion prices rose so late in the day. He has been married for almost a decade now. “I have been trying to get my wife to run away since ages and this has come so late in the day that I want to make someone pay here and I think the government is indeed a good choice. Besides my friends have urged me to sue the government for failing to control prices anyway so we are in effect targeting two missiles with one interceptor,” Uluriaq said.

When asked to what the government could have done to control prices, Uluriaq said the government should only allow prices to peak for a very short period of time and also share details on such a period with aggrieved partners, well in advance.

Union minister Kapil Siba…

Arnab Goswami will be the anger consultant for Deewar remake

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The whole nation was wondering where Times Now editor-in-chief was over the weekend. The nation was missing him so much that #whereisarnab was trending on Twitter for almost 36 hours. Humor Unplugged’s investigations reveal that Arnab was with Yashraj films MD and owner Aditya Chopra and the two were discussing Arnab’s role in an upcoming movie based on yesteryear’s hit Deewar.

Humor Unplugged has learnt that Arnab has been roped in by Aditya Chopra to be the ‘anger consultant’ for the movie. As part of Arnab’s contract, he will provide inputs to the story writer(s) and screenplay experts connected with the movie. His primary KRA would be to shape the character played by Amitabh Bachchan in the original movie. Since the role was that of an angry young man, Arnab was apparently the perfect guy to help shape the script and the character.

“You cannot be more angry or outraged than Arnab. They say that when he was born, he didn’t cry. He simply had an angry look on his face. He was in fa…

Ram Gopal Varma to make a movie on tax raid on his house

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Bollywood film maker Ram Gopal Varma (RGV) had an unexpected visitor on Wednesday – the service tax officials. The tax officials knocked on the doors of the film maker’s Millat Nagar office in Andheri at 2 pm and stayed in there till 10.30 pm. They only left after RGV started playing some of some of his movies in front of the tax officials.

While the raid was on, RGV was busy filming the whole incident. Sources close to the filmmaker (we could just find one random guy) told us that Varma is planning to make a movie on the raid. “The movie will hit the floors next week and will be released by end of September. The cast has been finalized and the script will be finalized once the shoot is over. In fact RGV was using photoshop for over 5 hours yesterday to develop the poster for the movie,” the source said.

Ram Gopal Varma is known in Bollywood circles as a disaster movie specialist since most of the movies he produces and directs have turned into big time disasters at the box office.

Indian PM accidentally issues a clean chit to Syrian President Bashar

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Indian PM Manmohan Singh accidentally gave a clean chit to Syrian president Bashar al-Assad today. The clean chit was however withdrawn later, when the gaffe was discovered. A red-faced PMO also issued a clarification saying the intention was simply to remind Syria of its obligation to the UN and the global community and was not intended to be a clean chit.

The faux pax was committed at 10:00 am on Saturday by Pulok Chatterji, Principal Secretary in the Prime Ministers Office. In a statement purportedly issued by Chatterji on behalf of the Prime Minister. “The PM wants to point out that the procedure regarding the use of chemicals on civilians was a misrepresentation of facts and in tactic deviation from the existing procedure followed by the Syrian administration. Therefore the PM is not ready to yet believe in the use of chemical weapons by the Syrian regime. The whole episode is still unproven and we are willing to wait till an independent international body exonerates the Syrian a…

Arnab Goswami’s Newshour questions leaked, angry Arnab threatens to migrate

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India’s primetime newshound Arnab Goswami was outraged to a BP level of 153/97 when he learnt that the questions he prepared for his evening show were leaked and someone was selling them outside the parliament building. An angry Arnab said that if the perpetrators of the crime were not apprehended, tried and awarded suitable and exemplary punishment, he would migrate to a Latin American country.

The leak was first reported by Arnab’s colleague Papaya Devi who was covering the parliament beat on Wednesday morning. When Lok Sabha was adjourned, Papaya Devi decided to treat herself to some snacks and walked across to a vendor in the parliament premises. As she came close to the vendor, she saw a sign that read “For sale Arnab Goswami’s Times Now questions for tonight”. The worst part was that some parliamentarians including a certain Coal minister were seen queuing up to purchase the questions.

She immediately informed Arnab who drove down to parliament and confronted the vendor who cla…