Posts

Showing posts from July, 2013

Archaeologists find remains of an advanced Neanderthal civilisation in Saudi Arabia

Image
International archaeologists have dug out the remains of what appears to be an ancient Neanderthal civilization almost 15,000 years old at a rocky lava field east of the city of Jeddah. The find has been kept secret by the team to avoid backlash from the public and from the conservative government.  
“This civilization probably is the only one that exists today which was more advanced than the ones that followed it. It was even more advanced than the Saudi Arabia of today. Women had more rights, people had more religious freedom and interestingly, freedom of speech was somethin g that people used to take for granted. People had taken to art in a big way there were paintings of all sizes done on rocks. Many of them seem to be cartoons mocking elders from the tribes these individuals belonged to," a professor associated with the study told Humor Unplugged on the condition of complete anonymity.

If a Neanderthal guy from those days were to visit Saudi today, he would feel sorry for…

BCCI does the unthinkable, issues a clean chit tender

Image
India's alleged national body for governing cricket in the country viz., the Bored of Controlling Cricket in India or the BCCI today issued a tender inviting bids from agencies to supply clean chits to it. Our source in the BCCI says that the action was taken after BCCI exhausted its stock of clean chits in the recent match fixing episode. Apparently every Tom, Dick and Harry from Maiyyatappan to Raj Kundra got BCCI to issue them clean chits leading to the stock of clean chits getting exhausted in just under two weeks.
The tender, our source said, will help BCCI replenish its stock and issue more clean chits in the days to come. Apparently, Bored Chief N Srinivasan wanted to make sure that the Bored is ready for any eventuality in the future.  







Lesser known facts about Arnab Goswami

Image
So you think you know Arnab Goswami well?? Think again. 
When Arnab Goswami was in school, he used to answer every question with 33 questions.Once he was inducted by the CBSE board in a panel to draft questions for the class X board exams. Was dropped after he added a 'nation needs to know' suffix to each questionHis first love letter included 137 questions for the object of his affectionArnab's wife never argues with him as she is afraid of losing Most of the self proclaimed evidence papers he waves on his show Newshour are grocery lists written by his wife He doesnt bargain with vendors. He simply asks 36 questionsGoswami's neighbors avoid him during their morning walk in order to prevent being asked 36 questionsArnab Goswami's maid once fainted due to low BP after Goswami questioned her absence from duty 08 secs is the longest any panelist has spoken on Newshour without interruption by ArnabPakistan's former dictator and clown Parvez Musharraf had 5 military…

SBI mulling auctioning Vijay Mallya’s Rajya Sabha seat to recover Kingfisher dues

Image
Within hours after some unknown congress guy claimed that Rajya Sabha seats were available for sale, top managers from the lending wing of State Bank of India met in Mumbai today to decide whether to move ahead with a controversial plan to auction Vijay Mallya’s Rajya Sabha seat.

It may be remembered that Congress MP from Haryana Birender Singh had made a sensational claim that berths in the Upper House were available for sale for Rs 100 crore. As soon as SBI’s top brass heard this news, it circulated a memo among its lending wing asking it to come up with a plan to recover 100-150 crores by auctioning Mallya’s seat to the highest bidder.

While other channels were grappling for evidence, Humor Unplugged spoke to a guy in the lending team who confirmed the move off the record. “Yes, the bank is interested in auctioning off the seat to bidders. Since SBI has the maximum exposure to the loan taken by Mallya’s Kingfisher Airlines, we can move in first and auction anything belonging to hi…

Juvenile and immature Times of India is evaluating 'ugly' celeb kids

Image
Times of India was never known to be a mature newspaper. From running a bogus peace program with Pakistan to questioning armed forces personal on their religious affinities while serving the nation, ToI has always displayed remarkable lack of sensitivity and maturity on issues of national and global significance. Today, Humor Unplugged was shocked to see Times of India's home page which had a distasteful and insensitive article (in the 'women' section) dedicated to 'ugly celebrity kids'. This is downright disgusting and juvenile even for a paper like Times of India run by folks bearing the IQ of a rusted nail. Check it out yourself and see how low a national newspaper can stoop..



Our appeal is to ensure that Times of India is made to apologize for this gaffe. No media outlet should get away with such a wanton display of stupidity.






You aren’t poor, if you can afford a clean chit: Indian politicians

Image
Politicians across parties and states agreed that the poverty line should be drawn above the level at which a person can afford a clean chit. An agreement to this effect was reached at an all-party meeting called by some joker at alleged director Mahesh Bhatt’s house today morning.

“Yeap, we agreed over a round of samosa and drinks that anybody who can afford to buy a clean chit for him or others is definitely above poverty line.   The discussion was held in a cordial and peaceful environment with many of us agreeing that each party should have a quota of clean chits to give to prevent its misuse. But then we thought considering the amounts of scams floating around, a quota will not serve any purpose so we decided to continue with our policy of unlimited clean chits,” a senior politician from the ruling congress said.

The parties agreed to continue allowing official spokespersons dole out the first round of clean chits.

Arnab Goswami is a thyroid maniac: Rajdeep Sardesai

Image
A clash broke out between the poster boys of Indian newsdom Arnab ’36 questions’ Goswami and Rajdeep ‘Old Monk’ Sardesai. The subject matter of this week’s clash is a TRP ratings chart released by an agency which showed that Times Now’s coverage of Narendra Modi’s so called ‘Puppygate’ managed to grab more eyeballs than CNN-IBN. Is that the whole story or did we miss something? Read on to find out what or rather who made the duo duel.

Sources close to Rajdeep Sardesai said that he was confident that his channel had managed to beat Times Now this time around and was waiting for the numbers to prove that. But when the numbers showed that Times Now had taken a huge lead over CNN-IBN, Rajdeep started sulking and refused to attend a meeting of the Broadcast Content Complaints Council (BCCC) citing ill-health. The CNN-IBN Editor-in-Chief also withdrew from Twitter and didn’t write those 500 columns he pens every week for all types of publications.

Few days later when Rajdeep returned to w…

Bangalore will host first ever international pothole festival

Image
Its official! Bangalore will soon become the first city to host a festival dedicated exclusively to potholes. A state government official has confirmed that India’s IT capital will play host to the event tentatively scheduled to be held in August.

“I am happy and glad to announce that
our city, our very own Bangalore, will soon be hosting the world’s first festival dedicated to potholes. I don’t think any other city deserves this honor and it is thanks to the hard work put in by many carefree ministers and incompetent bureaucrats over the years that our city has turned into the world’s pothole capital. In fact we have so many potholes that if we were to connect each one of them, Bangalore’s elevation above the mean sea level would go down by atleast 100 feet,” a beaming minister for Potholes and Artificial Pollination, P Puchappa said.

Sources say the government is planning to hold the event inside a huge pothole. 100 candidates have already been identified in the Central Business D…