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Showing posts from November, 2012

Group wants govt to give Bharat Ratna 'soft copy' to Sachin Tendulkar

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A group calling itself the Sachin Sena has asked the Indian government to bestow Bharat Ratna on batting legend Sachin Tendulkar at the earliest, failing which it will start public screening of torturous Bollywood movies.

“We will start the process next month and we have already communicated this to the Indian government. While we understand that the bureaucratic hurdles will delay the whole process, we just want the government to issue a PDF version of Bharat Ratna. Else we will start torturing people by screening the worst of Bollywood to harass citizens and then there will be no escape,” a self-styled spokesperson for the sena said.

Sachin Sena, according to the spokesperson, will screen Jab Tak Hain Junk and Son of Sardard to begin with and continue the torture by screening with similar movies in public. Government sources contacted refused to comment on the development. Police sources meanwhile said that they were waiting for the group to make a status update on Facebook before…

Pakistan in mourning following Ajmal Kasab’s execution

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Pakistan, world’s most prolific supporter of international terrorism, has gone into mourning as reports of her champion terrorist Ajmal Kasab’s execution started coming in.

Pakistan, according to sources, has declared state mourning today and tomorrow while its offices will remain closed on Saturday afternoon as mark of respect to the departed soul. Flags in the country will fly at half-mast and prayer sessions will be organised at terror camps across the country. Season two campus recruitments that were supposed to happen across major terror camps have been postponed indefinitely, a source said.

"Today is a dark day in the history of Pakistan. A day that snatched away a great son of the pious soil of this great country. May his soul rest in peace and not capture a dingy and roam around," Pakistani president Zardari said.

“We are appalled at India taking such a drastic step. Kasab killed a few people but then he didn’t deserve such a harsh punishment. You could have made hi…

Pervez Musharraf in conversation with Humor Unplugged

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Musharraf has been widely described as a coward in uniform, a certified pest and a perennial wannabe. In this conversation, part of our series Coffee with Clowns, Musharraf speaks about everything from his IQ to why he is in India.

HU: Tell us one thing. Why are you here in India? 

Mush: I have no idea. The other day when I was cleaning the utensils under direct orders from begum, I got a call from some paper called Hindustan Times asking me to address a gathering in New Delhi where people had paid upto INR 50,000 to attend. Begum said I can attend if I come back the same evening and do all chores for the day. You see it is very hard to find help in London. My entire pension goes in purchasing begum’s cosmetics. I am borrowing money from ISI’s overseas Jihadi fund for buying food. That’s how I came to India. By the way, I have now been officially categorised as a non-state actor by Pakistan.

HU: People pay to listen to you?
Mush: Yea I am also surprised. Earlier during my army days, Pak …

900 year old pothole discovered in Bangalore; may be declared heritage site

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Archaeologists in Bangalore have unearthed a 900 year old pothole right in the middle of the city.

The discovery came to light when a civic body and a major telecom player tried to outdig each other while laying a water pipeline and an OFC cable respectively on MG Road, last week. Sources say that engineers from both organisations got into a tussle on where and how they should ruin the road. The civic body wanted to ruin the road at exactly the same place where the telecom major wanted to dig a 30 feet deep trench. Both however moved on to separate areas of MG Road after a while and started digging furiously to see who could ruin the road more. The two also increased the size of the boards they had put up at the digging site to prominently display their respective brands.

After digging non-stop for nearly 80 hours, engineers from the civic body came across the remains of what appeared to be an ancient lake. Digging was then stopped and folks from the Archaeological survey of India to…