Showing posts from January, 2012

Next up – reservation for celeb lookalikes

In a major policy turnaround, the Indian government today indicated that it could seriously consider a proposal to offer 3 percent reservation to celeb lookalikes provided enough consensus emerges on the issue.

Speaking exclusively to Humor Unplugged union law minister Salman Khurshid stated that the Indian government will not object to the proposal provided it gets enough support from the civil society. “Yes, we can consider the proposal favourably; but, we need to garner support from different constituents of the civil society and arrive at a consensus on the issue without involving Twitter,” Khurshid said.  

The demand for reservation for celeb lookalikes had arisen after Humor Unplugged published a story about a lookalike of star Indian Batsman V V S Laxman getting a job as a model for articles appearing in a publication called Australian IT down under. The story caused a minor outrage (covered by two regional news channels in Tripura) in the country with three former rioters st…

Times are bad not just for celebs, but for their lookalikes too

Unlike the Times of India journalists who beat around the bush in the first para of their stories, Humor Unplugged gets straight to the point.

Now we all knew that the senior members of the Indian cricket team were going through a rough patch. But we didn’t realize that things had just taken a turn for the worse till we came across a story in the publication Australian IT featuring a V V S Laxman lookalike.  When Humor Unplugged got in touch with the dude in question,  he told us a story that was sad and worthy of a 3 hour documentary.

“There were simply no opportunities. No good ads, no movie offers no nothing. I was sitting on my laptop doing nothing for ages before I decided to move on. That was when I got this offer from an Australian daily to pose for their images. I immediately accepted the offer knowing fully well that this would be my last chance to do anything gainful considering the fact that my celeb is also in danger of losing his place in the Indian playing XI. The gover…

Rajasthan cops will script Mahesh Bhatt movie

After spinning a yarn over Salman Rushdie’s visit to Jaipur, Rajasthan cops got an offer from the not so noted director\producer Mahesh Bhatt to pen his next movie.

Humor Unplugged has learnt that Mahesh Bhatt has approached a bunch of Rajasthan cops with an offer to script his next movie. The offer was formally made on Saturday evening while the controversy over the alleged role of Rajasthan police in cooking up a false story over a threat to Rushdie snowballed into prime time news worthy controversy.

While home ministry sources in Delhi were tight lipped on the whole affair, we did manage to get a sound bite from a cop who was involved in creating the Rushdie threat story. “Yes, we have received a note from Mr Bhatt and it clearly states that we are being offered a movie. We are seriously considering the offer and the fact that the role of a script in a typical Bhatt movie is negligible also makes the proposal quite attractive. We can write a decent story in a couple of hours,” a se…

Oprah Winfrey’s Bollywood rendezvous

Oprah Winfrey landed on Indian shores a day ago. While every other blog or news site will tell you how much she enjoyed the trip, we beg to differ. Not only was Oprah tired and fatigued by the visit but she also had to put up with a bunch of clowns who tested her patience and tolerance till the very end of her day today. Humor Unplugged gives you the exclusive story.

The first person she met today morning was Bollywood’s own Acting Deficit  Syndrome (ADS) patient Kareena Kapoor. As per Oprah’s wish, she met a group of 'special' actors suffering from Acting Deficit Syndrome. Oprah treated the Kareena with warmth and asked her about her movies. Kareena meanwhile had just one question for Oprah. “How many item numbers have you done to attain such a high level of popularity in Hollywood,” Kareena asked. Oprah didn’t understand the question; but when an aide explained the concept of item number to her, Oprah didn’t bother to stop and answer. She just walked away.

As she stepped ba…

BCCI mulling VRS for senior players

Tired of coaxing senior players to hang up their boots, the BCCI, according to sources has decided to give the golden handshake to them. A decision to this effect was taken at an emergency meeting of the steering committee of BCCI on Monday and the same will be conveyed to the honourable players by the end of this week.

Sources in the BCCI told Humor Unplugged that the quasi political body has worked out a deal that would allow seniors to exit without hurting their ego. The deal could include a statue of each one of them along with a golden plaque in stadiums across the country and probably a seat in the Rajya Sabha for those interested in testing the political waters. Those who want to chase records will be allowed to do so in the Ranji trophy matches.

“Yes we have finalized a package for each one of them. We want to make sure that their exit is as smooth and cool as possible. All of them will be given posts within the BCCI and some of them will be hired as anchors by various sports …

Scientists identify and isolate Eminem gene in rats

In what they claim is a breakthrough, scientists at the Maryland, US-based National Human Genome Research Institute have isolated a gene that’s gives rise to Eminem type behavior among rodents. The so-called breakthrough came after 3 years of intense research and involved gene experts from 9 countries, according to a press release issued on Friday by the institute.

The identified gene is part of a cluster of MMP genes which localize to chromosome 11q22.3. While in normal humans, its expression is restricted by a epigenome which acts as a repressor. In rare cases, as in humans, the repression activity fails and the gene manages to express itself leading to the birth of what researchers call Ratty Eminem or the rodent version of Eminem.

Scientists associated with the whole project are excited by their discovery. “You know what this means? This implies that Eminem is not the creation of his social environment but is the result of a genetic anomaly. We will extend this study to other dev…

Humor Unplugged's objectionable content

At Humor Unplugged we simply believe that our government and our courts have better things to do than policing the net...correct us if we are wrong.

Auxiliary power unit problems ground Lumia branded Jet

A Jet Airways’ 737 which had an advertisement of Nokia's Lumia 800 smartphone, as part of the marketing tie-up with Nokia, has been called back to the hanger by the airline. The recall happened as the jet suddenly developed problems with its battery pack leading to power issues on board.

The airline has been ordered to investigate the incident by the civil aviation ministry and Nokia has promised all assistance in the probe.

Jet and Nokia had joined hands to launch a joint campaign to promote the Lumia series of phones. As part of this campaign, the Jet in question was supposed to sport the tile interface of the new Nokia smartphone on its windows as well as inside the aircraft. The Nokia Lumia Jet Airways aircraft was expected to fly across destinations in India till January 31.

Sources in Nokia and Jet were unavailable for comment. Insiders say that once the 737’s battery problems are fixed the campaign may be launched again.

It may be remembered that Nokia had recently admitte…

Video exposes China’s systematic assertive moves to curb panda freedom

A video obtained from China’s Xinjiang province by Humor Unplugged has revealed how China is curbing panda freedom. The video, obtained with great difficulty by our own Beijing correspondent panda Ping Ying, bears testimony to the gruesome tactics adopted by the local administration to keep panda cubs caged.

The video clearly shows how a Chinese PLA official confines a panda cub keen on escape to her crib. China as always has denied the existence of the video and claimed that its contents have been doctored to show the local government and PLA in bad light. Animal rights activists have condemned China and asked the international community to take cognizance of the matter at the earliest.

Speaking to Humor Unplugged, a US state department official said that the matter was of grave concern to the US government and that appropriate action will be initiated against China soon. He also said that US was trying to determine the present condition of the panda cub to ensure that no harm is do…

Put Barkha in Burkha: EC to NDTV

The Election Commission has asked NDTV to either put senior journo and national news nanny Barkha Dutt off air or cover her with a Size: 98" x 80" 80 percent opaque bedsheet/burkha during broadcasts. This missive came to the news channel in the form of a letter written by the EC received by NDTV early Saturday morning. The directive comes after EC issued a similar order directing the UP government to cover all statues of Maywati and elephants in UP.

According to NDTV sources, the letter states “the journo in question has been found to be very close to a national party that is contesting the upcoming elections in various states. The affinity has been found to be quite disturbing by the commission and therefore we direct your channel to initiate appropriate action to ensure that the journalist is not represented visually in any media till such time that the ballot boxes are sealed and delivered for counting”.  

EC has given the channel 5 working days to comply with the order…

Osama reappears, US-Pak ties back on track

In what has been described as indescribable by CIA sleuths engaged in anti-terror ops, Osama’s ghost seems to have come back to haunt the US.

A pattern on a cloud resembling dead and decomposed terrorist Osama Bin Laden made its appearance in a remote Pakistani city on Friday, according to agency reports coming from Islamabad. The pattern appeared for almost an hour and was witnessed by a huge crowd that had gathered at a religious rock concert organized by the Tehr-eeks-e-Taliban. As soon as the pattern appeared, many Stone Age fossil mullahs feel on their feet and started head banging in celebration.

CIA HQ in Langley was immediately informed of the development by the Pakistan government. By late evening (PST), US government resumed stalled talks with Pakistan, and the latter's foreign ministry promptly presented a bill of US$ 2 billion to take on the condensed vapor version of the dreaded terrorist.

“The US government understands the gravity of the situation and appreciates th…