Showing posts from January, 2010

Only Marathi speaking terrorists can attack Mumbai: Raj Thackeray

In a statement that could have been issued by Hitler, Aussies or even Klu Klan members, all round racist and national disintegration in charge Raj Thackeray has stated that in the future only Marathi speaking terrorists will be allowed to attack Mumbai. This statement was made by the racist clown at a thinly attended press conference organized by his non-descript party in Mumbai on Friday.

“Yes, just like there are language requirements for taxi drivers and those who wish to make a living in Aamchi Mumbai, even terrorists will have to speak and write fluent Marathi before they can attack us. We don’t want to be attacked by goons who cannot even speak our language. I will take this matter up at the highest level,” Raj Thackeray said. “All militants will be subject to a language test before they are allowed to attack,” he added. 

He also said that drunken drivers like Nooriya Yusuf Haveliwala will be let off if they prove that they can read and write Marathi. 

The Indian government h…

Funny images - dedicated to Obama's teleprompter

Its the Annual Obama Teleprompter week...

Nooriya may get Padmashree

Nooriya Yusuf Haveliwala, the girl who had managed to get drunk, crash her CRV into various targets and kill people has been recomdended for the “prestigious” Padmashree award. This comes close in the heels of Indian government conferring the award to controversial hotelier Sant Chatwal. The government hopes that Padma award will serve as a strong deterrent for those still planning to get behind the wheel after gulping over 50 ml of OH.

“I cannot confirm or deny this news. All I can say is yes, Nooriya’s name is on a tentative list that we have prepared and we will be forwarding this list to the concerned ministry. Nooriya has done remarkably well for herself by turning into a poster girl for our don’t-drink-and-drive campaign,” minister for drunken driving, facebook abuse and Windows OS errors, Chavvani Lal said.

Mahesh Bhatt, the jobless movie director has meanwhile announced that he will be making  a movie on the incident. "This one will have a underworld angle to it and will…

Pakistan develops indegenous missile launch platform

Shunning all critisism about lack of indegenous technology, Pakistan has announced that it has developed a mobile missile launch platform. The most terror friendly nation in the world claims that the platform has been developed indegeniously with zero resource investment from outside its borders.

“This shows that we here in Pakistan can develop cutting edge technology without any help from other nations. So far we have demonstrated technology supremacy in repainting – be it Chinese missiles or US small arms. The missile launch platform is a major milestone for indigenous technology and we are justly proud of it,” said Ministry of Defence Production Secretary Mullah Somar.

China has meanwhile congratulated Pakistani scientists for successfully completing the project. “We extend hearty wishes to the scientists behind the project and people of Pakistan for this remarkable achievement. So far Pakistan and China have only been known for copying technology and this project has demonstrate…

Funny images from the week gone by

"I dont want that credit card..."

Its winter...YIPEEEEEEEE!!!!

The Great Australian Racket trick..

Aspiring Tiger...

Get your act together for Haiti..the way these guys have done

 Do you really have something inside? This kid tells Obama

Security guys are everywhere before 26 Jan

Where have they hidden my campaign speeches..?

Australia will start racial attack forecasts

Buckling under pressure from India, Australia has agreed to take steps to protect Indian citizens from racial attacks. As a first step, the racist capital of the world will start issuing racial attack forecasts on the lines of weather forecasts for Indian citizens down under. The forecasts will be issued in bulletins broadcast on national television every single hour.

“We have realized that there are racists hiding in our country and these attacks as Pakistan said recently are unpreventable so the least we could have done is to warn Indians about it,” Australia’s vacation returned PM Kevin Rudd said on Saturday.  Though Australia claims that these racial attack bulletins will be more accurate than weather predictions, not many were ready to buy his argument even if offered at an offseason sale on discount. Many experts who spoke to this blogger feel that the move is aimed to deflect attention from Australia’s inability to curb these attacks and salvage its image.

A sample racist attack…

It’s official: Taliban “hurt” by Indian Premier League snub

Taliban, Pakistan’s government owned terror outfit has hit out against India for “humiliating” Pakistan and causing agony to millions of citizens who wanted to see their country getting a few more morsels of international aid to promote international terror.

Speaking on the sidelines of a Pakistan army-Taliban meet, Taliban spokesperson Mullah Gomar said “After all the years we spent in dispatching the best of our trained militants into India and pumping millions of dollars of US aid money into promoting terror there, this is how India has repaid us. We were not after the money. It is just that a few more dollars would have helped us groom more lunatics to create mayhem around the world and India has clearly let us down on this front,” he said.  

He also said that the Taliban was always in favor of increasing the number of terrorists onsite in India and that the premier terrorist group was planning to invest more in training India bound Paki terror ambassadors. “This humiliation has…

Pak cabinet to meet to take stock of IPL revenue loss

Pakistani prime minister Pant Geelanee will be holding an emergency meeting of key cabinet ministers to discuss the recent incident involving Indian Premier League (IPL) overlooking Pakistani players and the consequent loss of revenue to the exchequer.

Sources say that the meeting has been called to discuss ways to plug the fiscal gap arising out of the revenue loss caused by non participation of Pakistani players in IPL. Pakistani government will be losing plenty of much needed revenue in taxes that would have come in, if Pak players were selected for IPL. Pakistan’s balance sheet is not looking all that pretty at this moment with US delaying some of the “aid” money it owes to that country. On one hand Pak has been losing money by offering logistic support to US forces for their operations in AFPAK border (reimbursement from US awaited) while on the other it has been spending a fortune on training, arming and pushing terrorists into various parts of the world.

“Forget about educati…

Pungee League will feature Pakistan

In a move to mollify the “hurt” Pakistanis, the Indian government has decided to allow their players to participate in another not so big ticket league event. The Indian government has allowed the Indian Sub-Olympic Committee to invite Pakistani players to participate in the International Pungee League commencing mid May this year.  This league, according to sources, will be more in line with status of Pakistani players and that country’s stature in the international arena.

This IPL will feature the game of Pungee, devised by a harassed recession struck employee of an IT company in Bangalore. The game is a common stress buster among techies and doesn’t require much skill. It is used to pass time when one is bored or to appear busy when the boss is giving that unwanted lecture on time management and the need to be more efficient.

“This game is more aligned to the skill sets possessed by Pakistanis and they shouldn’t have eyed the Indian Premier League which is for players from countri…

China threatens Obama

Close on the heels of Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, issuing a warning to Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit, China, the largest holder of US treasury bonds issued a similar warning to President Obama to “perform or perish”.

The threat was issued in an official communiqué passed on by Chinese ambassador to US on Saturday. “It's very important... for the bondholders who have been very patient with Obama administration to understand that the honeymoon is over now; one year is enough and China feels that this administration will deliver in 2010," the communiqué said. The words seemed quite similar to the ones used by Alwaleed, though the Chinese were quick to deny any link.

"Obama has had his chances and this one will be the last. We have run out of patience and if Obama doesnt deliver now, he might as well make way for someone who can..." the communique said.

The communiqué was issued by a lower rung Chinese foreign ministry official and sort to put pressure on Obama admi…

Yogi could have warned Tiger Woods

In what could provide an interesting twist to the ongoing controversy on animals and their extraordinary paranormal powers, it has come to light that many celebs could have avoided public disgrace if they had just listened to their pets. A study conducted by noted animal biologist and paranormal expert Dr. Hammerschmidst has brought out several fascinating aspects of animals having premonition.

Pets, whose celeb owners were about to get into trouble displayed a variety of unusual behavior, according to Dr. Hammerschmidst. “The first case I would like to cite is not of Woods, but of an Indian Governor called Tiwari, who was embroiled in a scandal recently. Tiwari’s dog refused to sleep inside his official residence for quite sometime, was restless and would bark only at mediamen (who later put Tiwari in trouble) before Tiwari got into trouble.  The behavior was remarkably strange and even caught the attention of the dog’s vet, who couldn’t diagnose the dog’s problem,” Dr Hammerschmids…

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Chinese Ministers getting ready for a foreign trip...

"Hug and make up"

Now Jay Leno's look alikes are trying hard to occupy the space vacated by him...

Winter conversation

The devil gowda affect

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Why is China so insecure?

Yukk Thoo Chin heads China’s department of internal insecurity. In this position he is the dude who comes up with all kinds of theories to make the chinese government feel more insecure and take illegal steps to make the top brass of the commie politbureau more secure. In this exclusive conversation with our loudmouth correspondent Arnab Ghostsawme, Chin outlines his government’s strategy to identify and address insecurity issues.

AG: Mr Chin, we have all seen and heard how you have treated Google. We have also heard how you have raised an army of 300000 hackers to intrude and steal data from the networks of governments and how you constantly intrude into Indian territory to irritate India. For a country that is so huge, you guys seem to have the courage of a kitten. What makes you so insecure and why is it that you have to resort to such below the belt tactics?

YC: First of all, you must understand that we are not a democracy. You cannot even visit the restroom without detailed RRIII…

Kevin Rudd's letter to Manmohan Singh


Pakistan plans to dillute stake in terror training infrastructure

World’s number one terror sponsor Pakistan has asked its official terror wing Inter Services Intelligence to dilute its holding in various terrorist training camps spread across the nation. The directive came in the form of an official note circulated to ISI top brass on Wednesday by the government of Pakistan.

Sources close to the establishment have told this blogger that the move is part of a larger Pakistani game plan to consolidate the terror training network into one entity and list the institution on bourses. ISI has built and operated terrorist training campuses to facilitate its strategic objective of using terror as a state instrument and to keep neighbors Indian and Afghanistan engaged in low intensity conflicts in the past. These training campuses, some of which operate on a BOT model in partnership with terror agencies like the Jaish-e-Mohammed, Lashkar-e-Toiba and others, have been funded by ISI with Pakistani government aid and funds received from US and Saudi governmen…
Ministry of Misinformation & Fraudcasting has warned this blogger for publishing certain content in some of his blogs that were found to be violative of the exhaustive content guidelines published by the Ministry. This blogger is proud of and refuses to issue an apology for the aforesaid violation...

India to introduce new measures for citizens visiting Australia

Government of India will introduce a series of measures designed to discourage its citizens from visiting Australia. The move in the wake of racism rearing its ugly head in that country and the increasing instances of hate attacks directed against Indian citizens.
Indians will now have to fill in a supplementary form called form 4 B which will have to be submitted to the external affairs ministry in triplicate. The form will have complete details of the visit including place of stay, nature of visit, date of return, date of return etc. This form will also prominently display a message “Note: Visiting Australia may cause multiple injuries or death” akin to the ones displayed prominently on cigarette packets.

Compulsory martial arts and tweet training
Citizens aspiring to Australia will be given compulsory training in martial arts and tweeting. Indian government has tied up with various institutions to offer martial arts training and only those citizens who get a black belt or above wi…

Images for Australia, the most racist nation on the planet


Shame on Australia

Australia is definitely the most racist nation on the face of the earth. No amount of explanation will convince them on this. Just have a look at this video and remember the days one idiot called Andrew Symonds had the audacity to make allegations of racism against a Indian cricketer. Not a single day passes by without a instance of racism coming out...and this is just news that finds its way to the media; what about the attacks that go unreported? What about Indians suffering in silence? The former colony of thugs and banished bandicoots from UK is now showing its true colors. Whats worse, the government there hasnt got a clue about the intensity of the problem and is in a perennial denial mode.

Just watch this video of a racist attack on an Indian to gauge the amount of hatred that is embedded in the minds of some aussies...I dont want to say anything more...


Impact of recession on Karma

The Karmic Result Areas (KRAs) for people have been revised in the post recession world, sources close to god have told this blogger. 

“The recession was a result of accumulation of bad karma over the years and it was a clear attempt by god to warm humans to correct their ways as next time there wont be any warning, but action. The whole thing was a test designed to see how many of us will be able to act sanely, do our duties and act in a kind and understanding manner with our fellow beings-all of which are essential from a karmic point of view. The results will be out soon and this will be the last and final warning,” a source said.  

When asked as to what he meant by “results,” the source said. “God has indeed seen how we were during recession; especially people in the seat of power. Those who have behaved in a humane manner will have it good, while those who have behaved as though they were absolute rulers and have brought misery to others will suffer”. He also said that this rule wa…

Breakthrough in N D Tiwari case

In a major development, the Special Investigation Team (SIT) of Andhra police has claimed that it has recovered the missing pajama of former AP governor N D Tiwari. The pyjama, considerd to be a vital link in solving the N D Tiwari sting case (in which the governor was found without his pyjama with a few girlfriends) had gone missing in the aftermath of the video appearing on a news channel.

Acting on a tip off received in the first week of January, SIT conducted raids in different parts of the state. During one of those raids, the cops uncovered a set of pajamas that had been tampered beyond recognition, but one of them had the alphabets N D T embossed on it. Based on a hunch, the team forwarded the pyjama to the Police Forensic lab. The results revealed that the pyjama were none other than the ones the team wanted. The cops have taken a local shop vendor to investigate further. SIT will now file a fresh case against unknown persons for tampering with evidence.

The pajamas will brin…

Funny images from 2009