Showing posts from February, 2008

TRAI: telecom watchdog or corporate lapdog?

TRAIing the wrong number
Increasing telemarketing calls, inflated bills, deficient service and what not. This is what is happening in one of the fastest growing telecom markets in the world. Our correspondent Rajcreep caught up with Mr. Doorbash, Chairman of the so called telecom watchdog Telecom Regulatory Authority of India or TRAI. Doorbash gives some interesting and shocking insight into the way in which this organization functions. Here is the exclusive interview.

RS: Indian mobile and landline users may be among the most unsatisfied customers in the world. On one hand they put up with inflated bills and inefficient service on the other and TRAI seems to be least bothered. Care to explain?

DB: I don’t think you understand the situation at all. We have our own priorities you see we can’t allow the industry to bleed…

RS: Bleed? What do you mean by that? The head of a major private sector mobile entity has become a billionaire over the last few years, stake sales are raking in billion…

Who will be crowned fashion i-con?? find out

Who is the guy/gal with the worst sense of dressing in the nation? That's what we want to find out as we span the length and breadth of India to isolate celeb fashion offenders and pit them against each other. Fashion i-con contest is an attempt to correct the fashion conscience of the country and make these “dodo-dressed” celebs slip into something that's a little trendier. Some of the top contenders are as under:

Govinda: one wonders who Govinda’s fashion advisor is, if he has one that is. Rainbow shirts, yellow whale-sized trousers with a stainless steel chain hanging from the belt and a slipper-shoe hybrid adorning his feet…this is fashion for you Govinda style.

Mayawati: we never expect politicians to dress well for that matter they are not good at anything. But is it a crime to expect a semblance of sane dressing from these people? Apparently this lady who dreams to be the PM of India one day, needs to attend a crash course in attire management. Often Mayawathi is dress…

Pak army chief reveals plans to use their most potent weapon

Gen Ashfake Kianahi, is the chief of Pakistani army. In the new recently for slipping into his new role and the safety of Pakistani nukes, this die hard Musharraf loyalist seems to be threading the same path chosen by his predecessor mush. Our South Asia bureau chief Doorknob Ghostsawme met Gen Kianahi and grilled him on various issues. The Gen spoke at length on safety of Pakistani nukes and the recent missile tests by Pakistan. Here is the exclusive interview.

DG: Let me get to the point straightway. The safety of Pakistani nukes has been a worry for the global community. How are you addressing this problem?

AK: Oh, you cannot say that. Our nukes are completely safe under lock and key. Infact the key is right now with the washer man, as I had forgotten to remove it from my pants when I gave them away for washing last week. (laughs)

DG: You say that you forgot the key to a key nuke installation and feel that it is a joke?

AK: What else can I say? This has been happening consiste…

The most-hated Indian

Karat is Indian idle..

Top commie and all round India baiter Prakash Karat was crowned Indian Idle at the end of a nail biting final yesterday. The contest, which ran for 14 weeks over different sites, had Karat pitted against the likes of Devil Gowda, Mayawathi, Mulayam, Rajat Sharma, Horror doc, etc. With this win, Karat is now the most-hated Indian on the planet.

From day one, Karat was a surefire winner. However, the presence of Devil Gowda and new entrants like horror doc were threatening to upset his applecart. As weeks progressed, Karat sailed smoothly and he made it to the penultimate round without much effort. In the final, Karat came face to face with Devil Gowda. After the audience poll, Karat and Gowda were running neck-to-neck and so the whole competition boiled down to judges QnA round. In this round Karat was asked as to what he would do if he could just do one thing right. Without batting an eyelid, Karat replied, “I would call my paymasters in Beijing to find out”. When…

Chinki commies are back to backstabing

Angry with China’s stance on Arunachal Pradesh, our correspondent Micky Menon went all the way to Beijing to seek out the top commie rat Yukk Thoo Chin. Micky grilled the freak on many things. Unlike other journos who sugar coat their words, Micky took the chief of Chinese politburo head on and made the jerk puke out some details. Here’s the no holds barred interview.

Micky: How dare you say that our PM cannot visit our territory? Are you out of your mind?

YTC: of course not, the way we see it every territory is disputed we are in fact even going to lay our claim on Japan, USA and even Argentina in the coming years. We have an image of a regional hegemon, a bull dozing bully and a nation of tin pot dictators who can go to any length to crush opposition from inside or outside and we like to live up to that image, you see.

Micky: You guys are sensitive about everything we do…be it scouting for energy resources in Africa, South China Sea or even naval patrolling in Indian Ocean.

YTC: yes, w…

Sarkozy-Carla in an Indian movie

The Sarkozy-Carla affair
French President Nicolas Sarkozy, the man of the moment, is riding a wave of media attention and undiluted love from his arm candy Carla Bruni. During his recent visit to India, Sakozy spoke to Taran Johar about his love life, presidency and the things that go booo in the night. Presenting Sarkozy on Toffee with Taran.

TJ: Welcome Mr. President it is an honor to have you here with us. Do you feel that your recent visit has helped cement bilateral relations?

NS: I am afraid not, in fact Carla is pretty upset with the local media in your country.

TJ: and why would that be?

NS: your papers started racking up issues like protocol and all that to discourage Carla from coming here. She was quite worked out about the whole thing and felt that people here didn’t like her visit. So our relationship did indeed suffer due to the whole thing.

TJ: I was speaking about the Indo-France ties…

NS: Oh that…yes yes, this visit will boost our ties besides, as long as you have the Taj…