Pakistan offers asylum to Puja Khedkar

In a sudden development, the failed state and "devil's own land" of Pakistan has offered unconditional asylum to IAS scammer and all-around lazybum Puja Melodrama Khedkar. The offer was extended by Pakistan's Foreign Minister Abu Atta through a press note issued in Islamabad on Friday evening. Pakistani newspaper The Daily Junk has confirmed the story, quoting multiple sources.

"Puja Khedkar has all the qualities that we seek in a model Pakistani citizen. She is crooked, lacks conscience, is tone-deaf, doesn't know how to respect the law, and is wanted in India for heinous crimes. She can settle in Pakistan any day, and we welcome her with an open briefcase," a Pakistani foreign ministry spokesperson said on condition of a few donations.

"An offer of asylum and a home next to terrorist Dawood Cowardly Ibrahim is what we are planning to offer to Ms. Khedkar. She is free to join the Pakistan Administrative Service free of cost without bribing anyone, and she can continue swindling money like her noble father in our evolved republic," a Pakistani foreign ministry note seen by Humor Unplugged said.

Puja Khedkar, who is currently hiding in the subterranean kitchen of a Peruvian vada pav restaurant in Dubai, has meanwhile claimed that she will clear her name in the IAS scam and come out a winner.

"As soon as I find the right people to bribe and coerce, you will see my name cleared. I am even planning to give the UPSC exams next year under the name of Puja Manorama Dilip Tarun Tahiliani Batata Vange Khedkar. So watch out, India; I will be your district commissioner and magistrate soon. Keep your wallets open," Puja Khedkar told Humor Unplugged.

Her father, who has forgotten his real name and goes by the name DM these days, told Humor Unplugged that he has already worked out the bribe chain to get his daughter an IAS tag again. "This time, I will ensure that Puja gets a red beacon car while she heads to her exam center for the UPSC exam. My daughter deserves nothing but a red beacon car with Z category security along with jammers and an Iron Dome to block aerial projectiles as well. These are all basic amenities that should be extended to my daughter," DM said before heading to his hiding place under a partially dried well in Thane.

Puja's mother,  meanwhile, unloaded four rounds from her Groza 4 in our general direction when we landed at her house to interview the scarecrow.

 

Standard Puja Khedkar pic