Arnab Goswami's wife uses spy balloon to monitor the flirty smitten anchor
In an unusual development, a spy balloon with various spying paraphernalia was brought down by a Air to Air missile fired by a Mirage 2000 fighter aircraft belonging to the Indian Air Force late Saturday evening. While it was initially asssumed that insecure Chinese PLA minions were behind the episode, an investigation revealed another story all together. Here is the exclusive story.
Leading anchor and propeller mouth Arnab Goswami, according to various sources had developed a unusual level of interest in an intern who had joined Goswami's Repugnant TV a month back.
In addition to coaching her on high volume histonics in the studio, Goswami had also started training her on ways to mute guests on various shows as and when they started raising relevant questions that Goswami had no answers for.
Arnab had also started delivering milk sachets and grocery to her home using his own food coupons and to top it all, the intern also got a seat in every meeting that the Repugnant TV head was part of. While many initially dismissed Goswami's interest in the intern as sheer professional courtesy, things took a turn for the worse when she replaced Arnab on one of his shows and screamed, shouted and howled at guests ala Goswami.
This incident set the tongues wagging as many Repugnant TV employees asked how an intern was given a show and more importantly, how was she aping Goswami so efficiently? Something was certainly a'miss'.
Things went further downhill when Arnab's rival and national pesky aunty Navika 'Landfill' Kumar caught Arnab sharing instant noodles with the intern in his car. Kumar did a special segment of her unwatched prime time show focusing on Goswami and his new love interest. She even had a panel discussion on controlling runaway flirtatious anchors who were posing a threat to the nation.
As the news spread, it reached the ears of Arnab's wife Pipi Goswami. Who was allegedly alerted by national news nanny Barkha Dutt. Dutt, as per reliable sources, left a note behind in a watermelon left at the doorstep of Pipi's flat in Bellowing Enclave. Pipi had also noticed an unusual rise in consumption of food coupons in the household.
Despite all these red flags, Pipi initially did not succumb to rumors. But when she got an anonymous tip from a source in the Ministry of Information and Technology, she decided to catch Arnab red handed. Pipi contacted a firm in Hong Kong specializing in spy balloons and ordered one for herself. The balloon, a 100th as big as Arnab's ego was smuggled into Pipi's blessed home by a network of smugglers belonging to the British Fraudcasting Corporation which has a network of news runners who also smuggle contraband as a hobby.
After assembly and testing, Pipi released the balloon which had a high resolution camera, targeted sound sensors and infrared heat sensors to track changes in ambient heat around the target. Arnab's car was rigged with a tracking device to guide the balloon.
The balloon picked up strong evidence of Arnab's infidelity within minutes as Arnab was caught dropping milk sachets outside the house of the allegedly attractive intern. The balloon also caught Arnab buying cutting chai for her and collecting groceries delivered by Big Basket at her house.
Indian Air Force moves in
Meanwhile, the spy balloon had already appeared on the radar of India's Anti-Ballstic Missile Defense forces located at a secret location in Maharashtra. Mirages from the No.9 squadron in Gwalior were immediately scrambled to intercept and destroy the boogie. The balloon was aquired and brought down within minutes.
Unfortunately for Arnab, who was out to buy an ice cream for the object of his affection, the debris of the balloon landed on Arnab who collapsed on the spot mumbling some curses. Onlookers said that Arnab had looked up and saw the Navika sized debris headed for him but he had zero time to react.
Arnab was admitted to a nearby hospital. He suffered broken ego, concussions and 5 broken ribs and wishbone. Arnab was saved by his porcelain tongue which bore the brunt of the falling debris. Lack of spine also helped Arnab evade any serious injury.
Following the incident, Arnab and Pipi were called for a counseling session by none other than holyman, elephant corridor encroachment specialist and media whisperer Sadguru who coached the couple on essentials of maintaining a cordial maritial relationship.
The intern meanwhile has moved out of Repugnant TV and has joined a rival network.
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