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Pakistan does it's own ASAT testing, brings down a carrier pigeon

Close on the heels of India testing its anti-satellite weapon A-SAT, today, sources have informed Humor Unplugged that pakistan also conducted it's own A-SAT test around the same time and claimed it was a 'complete success'.

A nano satellite 
It may be remembered that in his live address to the nation today afternoon, Prime Minister Narendra Modi announced that India had “shot down” a low orbit satellite in ‘Mission Shakti’. As soon as the news reached pakistan, officials in pakistani DRDO (Defense Reaction and Duplication Organisation) ran helter-skelter for an hour before they unanimously decided to test their own A-SAT.

After a few hours, the same officials came out and announced that pakistan had tested its own A-SAT and the test was such a huge success that few officials fainted on the spot while a few others froze in disbelief. Still others started celebrating calling it the biggest moment in the country's history since pakistanis figured out a way of using a calculator in the early nineties.


The test of the weapon was done around 3 pm local time. Sources in the pakistani weather bureau confirmed that a projectile was indeed detected by their radars around 3 pm. It covered a distance of almost 500 mts, hit something in the air and then disappeared from the radar, a source in the pak weather bureau said.

Meanwhile, a source on the ground claimed that the projectile hit a carrier pigeon
which fell to the ground but flew away after a while. "It was a huge stone that came flying and we thought it would destroy a few houses, but instead it hit a pigeon, bounced and fell into a local ditch," the source said.

The pakistani A-SAT platform
Pakistan's PM meanwhile said he was too busy to come on TV to make the announcement. Paki army chief Mullah Gomar said "the weapon met all its flight parameters and hit its target with high accuracy and force. It almost reminded me of the time when my mother in law hit me with a frying pan when I tried to steal a cookie from her oven a few years back. That hit was in fact more accurate. My mascara was ruined and I couldn't play rainbow tag for over a year. Luckily it didn't impact my cranial capacity as it was already at the level of a bleached sandstone," Gomar said.

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