Hurt and angry Pakistan lashes out; says won’t send Jihadis to attack US anymore

Pakistan government is planning to stop all planned and unplanned terror attacks directed against US interests around the world in the wake of US President Donald Trump's remarks warning Islamabad against providing safe havens to terrorists, according to a media report and other sources.

Paid Pakistani protesters 
Pakistan’s Don News reported that Prime Minister Shahid Khaqan Abbasi and Pak army chief Javed Bhajwa met yesterday to discuss ways to get back at US and to “teach Trump a lesson” for degrading Pakistanis. After the meeting, Javed Bhajwa issued an email memo to the ISI with a BCC to listterrorpak asking all terror groups to stop targeting US interests till such a time that US apologizes to it.

“Pakistan is a proud nation and we have been involved in shaping US destiny and this is the way we are being repaid. Our state sponsored citizens have worked hard to destabilize US through the first wave of World Trade Center bombings and later through 9/11 lead highjacker Atta and others and in many other terror plots that we unleashed. Our terrorists have done a fantastic jo
b and US responds by cutting our aid. US cuts the very money which goes into financing, training, arming and sheltering US’ state enemies and they also insult us for the 18th time this year and that’s unacceptable,” Bajwa is reported to have told the Pakistani PM.

Bajwa’s email accessed by Humor Unplugged reads ”we are deeply pained. This pain reminds me of the time my wife ran away with a neighbor and my credit card. The disappointing part was that she returned but the credit card didn't. So from this moment onwards, you are all instructed to stop all terror camps, training and funding activities and wind up shelters designed to host terrorists wanted by US. Terrorists being trained against 37 other countries will however continue to receive training and funding till further order.”

Reactions from others quarters were of extreme disappointment. “I was counting on US aid money to come. I wanted to use some of it for building a coastal mansion in Karachi. You see we know how to pull a fast one on the amrikis and now that the money is not coming, I will have to go back to blackmailing Pakistani politicians,” a senior ISI official told Humor Unplugged on a chat via skype.

Some were however not so disappointed. “Pakistan has been on the brink since the day we became independent. We have always had some benefactor funding the circus that we have become. Earlier it was US and now it is China. We are always ready to dance and just need a patron. Jinnah created Pakistan so that he would get money from UK and that’s a known fact. So essentially nothing has changed. In fact, Pakistan might soon end up under Chinese occupation and that will end the problem once and for all so just wait and watch,” Don News editor Mullah Hookah Khan said.

A Pakistani citizen called Trump’s speech the greatest insult to Pakistan in the last 24 hours. “Am sure some other country will insult Pakistan even more in the next 24 hours and we will then move on. You see the state of Pakistan has become immune to insult,” she said.


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