Bangalore introduces tolled footpaths

In what could be termed as a measure designed to perplex pedestrians in Bangalore, the Karnataka state government has decided to launch a few tolled footpaths in the city. An announcement to this effect was made by the minister for footpaths, artificial pollination and El Nino, Dr. Champak Kumar on Friday.

An artist's impression of a tolled
footpath in Bangalore
“Yes, we have finally decided to move ahead and do something for the pedestrians in Bangalore city. It is something we wanted to do a long time back but were unable to do so for a variety of reasons and now that we have decided to do this, we will not look back or rest until we have done what we set out to do. You can be rest assured that we will be doing this come what may,” Kumar said.

When an impatient journo asked him as to what his government was planning to do, Kumar appeared dazed. Hearing the question, a pan-chewing bureaucrat who was sitting in the audience rushed towards Kumar and handed him a note that the minister read verbatim.

“The tolled footpaths will go a long way in keeping our pedestrians safe and will also fill our coffers with money that can be used to fund our overseas junkets. In fact, I have scheduled trips to Disneyland, Florida and Bolshoi theater in Moscow to see how folks there maintain their footpaths. It is going to be one hell of an academic trip,” Kumar said.

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