Nawaz Sharief locked in dispute with wife, seeks US intervention

Pakistani Prime Minister and sandwich enthusiast Nawaz Sharief has called for US President Barack Obama’s direct intervention in what appears to be a classic case of domestic dispute. The request was made over the weekend during Sharief’s visit to Washington.

Now everyone knows that Sharief has asked for US intervention in the so called “Kashmir dispute”. But many in the media are not aware that the Pakistani PM has made a fervent appeal to the US president to also intervene in the ongoing fight between him and his wife that has threatened to destabilise his married life.

The whole affair started nearly a month ago when Sharief, a known sandwich aficionado, snuck out in the middle of the night for a quick snack. As he laid the first bite on the spoils of his midnight escapade, the first blow landed on his chin. Before he could gather his wits, he was thrashed mercilessly, gagged and stuffed in a gunny bag. The next morning, Islamabad police managed to extract him from a landfill in the outskirts of the city.

India's Kashmir Valley
The culprits were Sharief’s wife Bingo Begum and her mother. When confronted, Bingo claimed that she and her mother thought a crook had snuck into the house and was snacking. Sharief however claims that both Bingo and his mother-in-law were aware of his identity and the whole episode was enacted to take revenge on him for not taking Bingo and her mother to a fashion show in Lahore.

"I told him if he (Obama) spends 10 percent of the time he was spending on the Middle East, my domestic life would be much better," Sharif said during a stop-over in London on Saturday while on his way to Washington.

Sharif added, "For the last few weeks both sides were entangled in a bitter feud. The situation can become dangerous for me. My mother-in-law has an arm weighing 2.5 kgs and my wife’s tongue can shred anything. There should be a limit to it. We all should think about it."

According to sources close to the Pakistani PM, currently, a ceasefire is on in the Sharief household and both sides are holding on to their positions. Bingo and her mother could not be reached for comments but we did manage to a source close to both. “This time he (Nawaz Sharief) will not be able to escape the landfill and we will ensure that,” the source said.

"While these issues are not the cause of all the Sharief's problems, they have been a major source of instability for far too long, and resolving them can help serve as a foundation for a broader peace," Obama said, when asked about the episode.

A reputed Pakistani analyst who thinks the world is flat said "I think Nawaz Sharief should now chill. He has been asking for US intervention in everything right from his maid not turning up to his plumber playing truant".


Kiran Acharya said…
Really funny take on appeal of US intervention in Kashmir dispute.

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