Simi Garewal to sue the Hindu for alleging that she was the LoC granny

Noted fossil and botox granny Simi Garewal launched a blistering attack on Chinese newspaper ‘the Hindu’ for dropping enough hints to suggest that she was the granny who crossed the LoC and caused the recent skirmish across the Line of Control between India and Pakistan.

The Hindu it may be recollected had claimed that a ‘runaway granny’ had caused Indian and Pakistani armies to start a fresh round of skirmish across flash points on the LoC. The description of the granny according to sources closely matches Simi's appearence.

 Condemning the article, Simi said “utter rubbish. I don’t feel any reason why I should even give this article any attention. I was in my house undergoing repairs and a new round of mummification to keep my skin looking human in 2013 so I couldn’t have been at the LoC. Such insinuation is completely unwarranted.

Simi also claimed that she had never visited the LoC in her life and told Humor Unplugged that she was planning to sue the newspaper. Attempts to contact the Hindu’s head office in Beijing proved futile. A Peoples Liberation Army (the owner of the Hindu) spokesperson while defending the Hindu said “the Hindu newspapero correctly reporto the incidento”.

“As soon as I heard the news, two layers of reptilian skin I had put on my face fell down and cracked. I will sue the Hindu and demand adequate compensation. These reptilian skins were imported from Brazil and cased in Egypt and these things are very expensive,” an angry Simi said. Her sister HuJI Garewal also condemned the incident and said that the Hindu was an 'ignorant' newspaper and had become China's mouthpiece in India.

Taliban owned and operated entity Pakistan Army also denied the incident. "We have not received any granny over the to few days. We only support inflitration efforts into Indian Kashmir and not exfiltration. Why would anyone want to escape from Indian Kashmir?? It is pure hell on this power, no water, no freedom and there are mullahs everywhere," said a Baloch regiment soldeir.


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