Z+ security for Barkha Dutt on Twitter

The Indian government has decided to extend Z+ category security on Twitter to aunty national news nanny Barkha Dutt commencing 2013. A decision to this effect has already been made and a notification was sent to Dutt on Thursday evening, government sources told Humor Unplugged.

The Axe effect on unfav tweets
Z+ category means that the government will deploy a Kapil Sibalesque character to monitor twitter activity to weed out tweets defaming Dutt. “We have over 78 attitudinal lookalikes of Kapil Sibal, 40 of whom are monitoring and censoring Twitter as we speak. The rest are being trained and prepared to take on similar responsibilities in the future. We have received a request to deploy one of our social media moderators to protect the reputation of the honourable Barkha Dutt and we are delighted to report that we will honor the request in under 72 hours,” a senior telecom ministry babu said.      

The decision means that any tweets deemed offensive after considering over 300 parameters will be deleted immediately by the moderator (in collaboration with Twitter). Repeat offenders will be send to a thought amendment camp organised by Digi.

Tweeple making fun of Barkha Dutt to be tried by special courts
The government has decided to launch a fresh crack down on folks trying to run down national news granny Barkha Dutt on social media. The law ministry has given the green signal to a proposal that mandates establishment of 5 fast track courts to convict tweeple who are caught making fun of the senior journo on social media channels.

Sources in the government told Humor Unplugged that the conviction rates in cases of people arrested for cracking jokes on the journalist on twitter was next to zero as of now and the new measure will fix that.

While Barkha Dutt was unavailable for comment, her sister Biteha Dutt claimed the move will lead to people turning more 'civil' on social media.

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