Potatoes replace cops in certain Delhi localities

Few days after Boeing commenced Wifi testing with potatoes, few citizens in Delhi have put uniformed potatoes in their localities to make up for lack of police patrol in their area.

"Boeing Test and Evaluation laboratories recently discovered that sacks of potatoes work as a substitute for people, when testing the effect on WiFi of an airline cabin packed with passengers. The program is called Synthetic Personnel Using Dielectric Substitution (SPUDS) and its purpose is to develop the most evenly spread and reliable WiFi coverage for an airliner," a certified geek told us.

Few citizens in Delhi angry with cop inaction and deteriorating law and order situation in the national capital devised an igneous method to increase cop presence in their area. These folks purchased bags of potatoes and put them in police uniforms and placed them in strategic locations in their localities.  The sacs are sitting by themselves and apparently doing a good job in managing law and order in areas where they are deployed.

“Many criminals have not yet figured out the difference between these sacs and the real cops as from a distance they look the same. Further, these cops (potatoes) appear more dangerous as they are stationary and seem to be watching you carefully from a distance as opposed to their real counterparts who are not just not around but even when they are around are either sloshed or busy collecting bribes or flirting with citizens. We feel this move will prove to be a significant deterrent,” a Noida resident said.

For now the experiment seems to be a resounding success and people from different parts of the country have evinced interest in replicating a similar exercise in their vicinity, sources said.

No move to replace Shinde with potatoes as of now: Government
Meanwhile government sources denied there was any move to replace union home minister Sushil Kumar Shinde with potatoes in the short term. "Nope, nothing right now. Shinde is currently performing at the level of a potato and so there is no need to relive him. The moment he falls below the potato mark, we will drop him like a hot potato," a UPA source said.

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