Oprah Winfrey’s Bollywood rendezvous

Oprah Winfrey landed on Indian shores a day ago. While every other blog or news site will tell you how much she enjoyed the trip, we beg to differ. Not only was Oprah tired and fatigued by the visit but she also had to put up with a bunch of clowns who tested her patience and tolerance till the very end of her day today. Humor Unplugged gives you the exclusive story.

The first person she met today morning was Bollywood’s own Acting Deficit  Syndrome (ADS) patient Kareena Kapoor. As per Oprah’s wish, she met a group of 'special' actors suffering from Acting Deficit Syndrome. Oprah treated the Kareena with warmth and asked her about her movies. Kareena meanwhile had just one question for Oprah. “How many item numbers have you done to attain such a high level of popularity in Hollywood,” Kareena asked. Oprah didn’t understand the question; but when an aide explained the concept of item number to her, Oprah didn’t bother to stop and answer. She just walked away.

Oprah with the Bachchan family.
Amar Singh is in the trunk 
As she stepped back into her hotel, she was introduced to another unique talent from Bollywood. World’s only actor to run on Android OS walked in and greeted a surprised Oprah. Rampal told a puzzled Oprah that developers were still working on his facial expressions and that his next release (Rampal 2.3) will have advanced features such as eye brow and cheek movement. Oprah found the concept quite advanced and told Rampal that they should make an Indian version of Terminator with him in the lead.

Meanwhile out of nowhere John Abraham walked into the room unannounced in his jocks, hoping to impress Oprah. Oprah promptly donated a few clothes to the actor and asked him to get in touch with Harpo foundation in case he needed more help and support for rest of the winter. As Oprah was about to close the door, someone grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Ab bach key kahan jaoogiii (How will you save yourself?)” was the question the guy asked. It was none other than famous villain of yesteryears Prem Chopra who was trying out one of his famous moves on the startled lady.

A freaked out Oprah didn’t wait to exchange pleasantries and started running towards the lift. As she rushed, two senior citizens stopped her and blocked the entrance. Noted filmmakers Yash Chopra and Mahesh Bhatt were standing outside the elevator with a Clint Eastwood style minimized vision look. While Chopra was waving something resembling a script, Bhatt was waving a tweezer and said he will finalize the script after the shoot is over. Chopra wanted to cast Oprah in Dhoom 3 while Bhatt wanted her to be a part of Murder 3 with the human vacuum cleaner Emran Hasmi.

Chopra was the first one to approach Oprah, mumbling in true Chopra style. On the other side Bhatt, scratching his chest said "hey the babes, would you the likes to do the movies with the me?" This time Oprah was saved by her bodyguards who pushed the two senile delinquents aside. The hotel gave Oprah a new room with more privacy and staff were instructed not to allow anyone inside or in the vicinity.

However, by evening, another crowd consisting of winners of Indian 'reality' shows such as Roadies and Indian Idol gathered outside her room and urged her to adopt one of them (They were under the impression that Oprah was in India to adopt).

As she retired to bed thinking it was all over, she heard a mongrel howl outside her hotel. When she peeped  from her window, she realized it was not a hound but a man. The man in question was none other than Himesh Reshamiya who was practicing for an upcoming event. Oprah fainted.

Comments

Thanks yaa..glad u liked :)
Saru Singhal said…
ROFL...Item nos to jockey boy...It was hilarious...I wish you have written something about SRK and AB junior. May be in a sequel of this post.

It was amazing!!!
:) Thanks a ton Saru...have a sequel in mind...but dont know when that will take off :) SRK and AB got enough coverage on twitter so didnt want to focus more on em here :)
HEHE LOL :P :P
BRO be aware of censoring !
your blog might be in top 10 :P :PDeepaK
;D thanks buddy :) but dont worry am just a small fish :) there are lots of big ones out there...they will go down first...:)
Ana_treek said…
Hey why did you leave the Bachchan family out of this spoof?..:D..insane it is!
So sorry Ana..thats indeed a big miss :( will do a separate one on em soon :)
Sujatha Sathya said…
hilarious. you haven't spared any of the famous non-actors,have you? oh wait you forgot sonam kapoor! how could you! and amar singh in the trunk!! that was super!
:) Hi Sujatha :) so nice to hear from you after so long :) yea theres another list I am preparing to tackle all the jokers I missed out this time...:) will include Sonam there :) to be frank her dressing is enuff for atleast 5 posts this week itself ;)
This was a fun read and reflected so accurately on the silliness of some of our "idols." Looking forward to the sequel you have up your sleeve!
thanks buddy :) will try and wrap it up soon :)))
Leo Paw said…
Hha ha ha... Good one.. was expecting something about people in the photo too.
Thanks Leo, indeed that is a big miss :(...will make up for it in the next installment :)))
:) Thanks Priya :) glad you loved it :)
ravindra rajput said…
ROFL.. what a post .. really enjoyed reading all through :)
indu chhibber said…
oh my GOD-------------------poor human vacuum cleaner,so much for his expertise!
but beware----censorship may b lurking round d corner!let us njoy while v can.
@Ravindra :) thanks buddy :)
Thanks Indu...I completely agree... lets enjoy while we can...:)
Poornima Kandi said…
i enjoyed reading this one!
Tia said…
the himesh reshaimmya bit was icing on the cake :))
:) thanks doo...he had to be there..:) the finishing touch or rather the finishing howl;)

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