Facebook will soon do status updates on your behalf: Mark Zuckerberg

The submission should be absolute and total and the word privacy will be deleted from dictionaries across the world in the next 5 years, the Facebook CEO said.

The news is not all that good from Facebook. The social networking site has intensified its efforts to take complete control of your online and offline behavior and to study behavioural patterns to not just predict your response but also share it with all kinds of people and marketers. Our social media correspondent who met Zuckerberg last weekend came back dazed and disoriented after he learnt of FB’s plans to dominate the lives of human beings across the planet.

“Its all out there. Our intuitivly snoopy social algorithm is today helping marketers learn more about customer behavior and predict buying preferences like never before. So don’t be surprised if FB pings a service provider on your behalf and requests a service that you might need in weeks to come (even if you dont need it). Also, depending on your online behaviour in just 15 minutes FB will be able to gauge your mood and flash an apt status update to inform your friend circle. All this is not long term and I can assure you that you will be seeing much more in the days to come,” Zuckerberg said.  

Humor Unplugged has also learnt that FB will be doing away with all forms of privacy settings soon and will replace it will a more open dialogue framework wherein marketers will be given the right to decide whether you are worth being on FB minus privacy or should you be banished.

"The word privacy will be deleted from dictionaries across the world over the next 5 years," claimed Zuckerberg.



Comments

Anand said…
hahahahaaa... too good man... no wonder if fb does it in few years!!! Cheeeers!!
thanks buddy..yea in fact they might even go a step further :(((
Raji said…
Watch it man!! Fb also tracks their users' bolgs and deletes accounts of people who poke Fb:)
hahah :D I wish they do that ;))) will help me save sometime ;P
Chintan Gupta said…
oh! so does that mean, they will calculate my death date and pre-order a coffin at cheaper rates with 1£ monthly installment only?

sigh of relief >:<

:D
Chintan
Saru Singhal said…
I don't know what will happen to privacy in 5 years but FB has surely dominated our lives...I wonder what will be the outcome of their studies Man...But please tell them to stop the tagging feature...I'm sick of it!
:D Sure Saru will pass on the message to FB guys...if they dont already know

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