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Sunday, June 12, 2011

Apocalypse delay irks Arnab Goswami

Like all other kind-hearted anchors, Arnab (the nation needs to know) Goswami expected the world to end on May 26. His channel had made big plans for covering the event live with feeds from 30 cities across the globe. He had even gotten a few psephologists to predict the post-end of world scenario.

But alas, things didn’t go as planned and apocalypse didn’t happen. Now an angry Goswami has revenge firmly planted on his mind. He has decided to set a slot aside every week on his news show New Hour to 'interrogate' various people to get to the bottom of ‘what could be the biggest conspiracy in the history of human race’. For this week’s episode, he has already drafted a few questions for guests who will be decided over the next two days. Humor Unplugged managed to get a copy of the questionnaire and we are presenting it here. Reader discretion is highly recommended.

  • Why is the apocalypse being delayed? 
  • Who is behind this inordinate and inappropriate delay?
  • Is there a conspiracy behind the delay involving certain powers that be? 
  • Who will gain if the world doesn’t end as expected? 
  • Is this an issue of proprietorship?   
  • What was Sharad Pawar doing in London on the day of apocalypse? 
  • Did Digvijay Singh get a call from god before May 26 telling him that the world will not end on May 26? 
  • Is Suresh Kalmadi controlling the apocalypse from Tihar? 
  • Is Lalit Modi planning to establish a parallel civilisation on Mars? 
  • Does Maywati have anything to do with the Mayan calendar which says the world will end in 2012? 
  • Is this a fraud of gargantuan proportions perpetrated on the hapless citizens of the globe?
  • Will the world ever end? If so when?
  • Will I get my gratuity before the world ends? 
  • Who is hiding behind apocalypse? 
  • Why didn’t the union cabinet meet on May 26 as planned earlier? Was this a last minute change of mind or was inappropriate convenience behind the move?
  • Why is Obama silent on the issue?

    Times Now will relentlessly pursue this issue till an acceptable conclusion is derived.   

Arnab wants to know why the world didn't
end on May 26. In this screen grab Arnab is shown

interrogating a meteor that could have collided
with earth to bringforth end of humanity. 


6 Thoughts:

Oh my gawd..
Iss mein RSS ka haath hai :D

Oh god this is just hilarious. I love to watch The Newshour. But your version is way better!

Too good buddy !! Whenever, Mr. Arnab Goswami says, "The nation wants to know", "The whole country is asking", I always used to think that I am not asking some of the questions !! And definitely the nation isn't asking some either !!
Arnab is putting words in nation's mouth !!

PS: Even I watch The Newshour regularly :)

Hi Binu,

Thanks. I guess Arnab is doing his job too well..I remember when he started in 2005 his only claim to fame was his association with NDTV...today he has come of age...and to be honest he is fun to watch unlike the barkhas and the rajdeeps whose shows are plain and bland, our dude's Newhour is very lively and action packed...I especially like the way his 'interrogates' 'guests' from Pak :)

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