Times of India to change spelling

The world’s most superstitious newspaper Times of India has added another feather to its hat. The publication has decided to change the way its name is spelt to bring better luck, fortune and readers.

“Yes, I can confirm this development. We have indeed decided to change the way our name is spelt and this is purely a move designed to attract more positive energy and good fortune. In the past we have changed  the way many celebrities spell their names thanks to our tie-up with a group of cons who keep fiddling around with the spellings of everything from names of movies to names of pets. So we were forced to think. If we can do it for others, why don’t we do it for ourselves? Especially since competition is giving us sleepless nights and our editorial standards have vanished,” said Indu Jain, ToI chairperson.        

Times of India will now be spelt as “Tyemess oef  Iendiieaa” The change will be effective June 01, 2011 and the Times group is planning to launch a massive campaign to publicize it.

When Humor Unplugged asked Indu about her publication’s increasing focus on promoting pre-historic superstitions, she responded in anger grabbing the rabbit foot bracelet (supposedly given to her by a fakir) kept on the table. “Do you think we do all this for fun? When you are running a media empire whose turnover runs into 1000s of crores, you have to be compliant with everything under the sun-good or bad. The stakes are too high and we are not expected to take chances with fate. Just the other day we demolished a part of our office in Mumbai because it was blocking positive energy from flowing into the rest of our office. So now you know how serious we are. Can you sit a bit to your right so that you don't block my view of the special bhoot bhagao hologram given to me by Saint Chatwal? I have to see it at all times,” Indu said.

Humor Unplugged has learnt that Times of India will assemble over 1000 numerology fraudsters, black magic specialists, dhongi babas and voodoo practitioners from around the world on June 1 as part of the launch ceremony.

Comments

tia said…
TOI rocks ! ;)
tia said…
TOI rocks !!

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