Pakistan to deploy indigenous drones to preserve Taliban assets

Fulfilling an old promise made to Pakistani people, the Pak government has decided to halt the use of US drones to kill its own people. These drones will be replaced by indigenously manufactured Pak operated ones that are faulty, poorly designed and half as capable as their US counterparts.

A source in the Pakistani aeronautical establishment told Humor Unplugged about the usefulness of the Pakistani drones. “These drones are good. Most of them are actually big kites with scary faces painted on them to terrorize militants. We also have one big drone piloted and manned by a commissioned ISI monkey with a riffle. This drone has a webcam fitted on the lower half of the fuselage which can be used to view movement of targets and to order the monkey to fire at identified targets. The ones flown by US are toys when compared to our drones,” the source said.

Pakistan army, according to sources, has been under immense pressure following the US drone attacks on its territory. Not only was US finishing off cultivated ‘strategic Talibani assets’ of the Pakistani army, but the strikes were also killing civilians who had as much to do with the war on terror as Emran Hashmi has to do with acting. By deploying these drones, Pakistani army will have greater control on air operations and will be able to preserve targets of high strategic value to itself.

Pakistani army sources claimed that they will not allow US drones to fly over Pak air space and any violation will be met with brute force. "We will throw rocks at these intruding drones and for this purpose we have already hired nearly 100 kids in border areas. These kids will climb trees and throw stones at non-Pakistani drones," an ISI officer told your blog. A CIA technit agent couldn't control his laughter when informed about the development. "These Pakistanis are brilliant jokers. Everytime they come up with some excuse to control air raids inside their territory. They should know that Pakistan is a subservient state to the US and we will not let any voices of dissent emerge. And as far as these (Pakistani) drones are concerned, we will ensure that they are only flown in Pakistani Disneylands," the agent said.  

Humor Unplugged was the first publication in the Indian sub continent to disclose the existence of a UAV project in Pakistan. Our report on Pak UAV in Feb 2010 had prompted RAW to procure advanced airborne spying platforms to gather intel on strategic targets inside Pakistan.

The Pakistani drone piloted by a commissioned ISI monkey
taking off from a undisclosed airbase inside Pakistan


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