Aishwarya Rai and Banyan tree head for splitsville

It is a season of parting in Bollywood. First it was the widely reported Bipasha Basu-John Abraham split and now it is the Aishwarya Rai-Ficus split that is causing actors to revisit their relationships. Heres the full story.

Former miss world and actor Aishwarya Rai Ficus Bachchan and her first husband, a Varanasi-based Banyan tree have decided to call it quits after nearly 3 years of matrimonial harmony. The two have cited irreconcilable differences and career as reasons for separation. The split will be formalized as soon as Aishwarya’s lawyer returns from US after suing some folks there to give his client more visibility in the local media.    

The story so far
Aishwarya Rai and the banyan tree (Ficus Bengalensis) got married before the Pink Panther beauty got hitched to Bachchan junior. At that time, many family members had openly questioned Aishwarya’s second marriage as she was already married to Ficus. The widely held belief is that Aish's marriage to Ficus was one of convenience as she had some 'astrological issues' and the marriage would have transfered all her bad acting skills to the innocent banyan. However some sources claim that Aishwarya had gotten married twice as she wanted to open a political innings. It is worth mentioning here that some political parties in India have now made it mandatory for senior leaders to have two spouses or more. “This makes it easy for us to spread the wealth around without arousing suspicion and besides its hep to have two or more wives. Besides, if there is just one wife, she may run away from the parent party after her husband's death which will result in a split. If there are two wives then one of them will atleast stay with the parent party,” a senior DMK party functionary told Humor Unplugged before going underground fearing ‘Amma’s wrath’ after her thumping victory at the hustings.    

Our mole in the Bachchan family tells us that the actual reason for the separation is the increasing popularity of her first husband. “Ficus had started getting offers from bollywood and was considered a far better actor than Aishwarya. He could emote better, needed less make up and didn’t have any language accent issues. The last straw was an invite that Ficus got to attend the prestigious Cannes film festival. While Ficus got his invite early, Aishwarya Rai’s invite was send via courier and got delayed. When Aishwarya heard about the Ficus getting an invite, she went ballistic and initiated the divorce proceedings. And that’s the true story,” our mole said.  

When Amitabh Bachchan was asked to comment about the whole incident, he just mumbled “Womennnnn”. Bachchan junior when asked just said “No Idea”.

Aishwarya Rai during her marriage to Ficus

Aishwarya Rai's first  husband

Attempts to contact Aishwarya Rai came to a naught.
Her spokesperson sent this pic and asked us
not to publish the story


sk said…
hahahaha.. omg ficus ... :D
sk said…
hahahahaha.. omg ficus!!!
Deepthi Rajan said…
Hilarious! very nice article
Deepthi Rajan said…
Hilarious! thoroughly enjoyed reading this one. Hope to see more such articles :)
Thanks a ton..u keep reading em...I keep writing em :)))

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