Indians not as large hearted as Pakistanis: Shahid Afridi

Shahid Afridi, the losing Pakistani cricket captain is in the news again. In an interview, he said “In my opinion, if I have to tell the truth, they (Indians) will never have hearts like Muslims and Pakistanis”. To get to the bottom of the whole issue without any delay, we dispatched our sports correspondent Bored Ma’zoomdar to Karachi to get Afridi to clarify. The man who was 14 for three years in a row spoke to us on many issues concerning him. Here’s the exclusive interview.

BM:  Why did you make such a statement? Weren’t you happy with the reception and support you received here?
SA:  We did get a good reception. But I cannot say the same for a few of my other friends who were treated pretty shabbily by the establishment and people here.

BM: Who are you talking about?
SA: You see many of my fellow citizens infiltrate India from the LoC in Kashmir and what do they get? They are either shot down by the Indian Army or the local villagers thrash them and dump them across the LoC. This is not good for our bilateral relations and Indians should try and open their hearts and minds to us Pakistanis.

BM: Mr Afridi, they are terrorists and we are not among those nations which provide a safe haven to them and push them into other countries.
SA: I agree buddy. You are spot on. But these terrorists are human beings too. You folks shouldn’t discriminate and let these guys into your territory. After all they like your country in some way and that’s why they are dying to get in.

BM: Forget it. Why do you have a problem with an Indian player dedicating the World Cup win to 26-11 victims? 
SA:  Personally I don’t have a problem with it. But then you see if you want to dedicate it to someone you could have dedicated it to your girl friend or something.

BM: You have attacked the media and blogger community here. Why?
SA: Did you guys see the kind of coverage that World Cup 2011 received? I saw Murali Karthick on one channel giving his ‘expert opinion’ while on another channel you had someone unknown clown speaking as though he was a seasoned veteran of the game. If Murali Karthik is an expert, then I should be given a doctorate. On yet another channel I saw a shiny vessel making weird noises. When I came close to the TV set I realized it was a bald Sanath Jayasuriya harping away to glory. Wake up and smell the coffee people.  You guys don’t know how to get the real people to speak.  

BM: You have said Pakistani media is ‘100 times better’. Care to explain?
SA: We don’t have a Arnab Goswami here who pokes his pencil and reads an essay written by his kid every day at 9. We don’t have a Barkha Dutt here who doubles up as a corporate power broker. We also don’t have a Rajdeep here who dyes his hair and bores his audience with his not so exciting coverage of news and events.

BM: Come to think of it you don’t have anything. I mean you don’t even have an active media or a vibrant blogger community. Your media and your bloggers are simply mouth pieces of the government or the Taliban.
SA: Thank you :)

BM: Coming back to you. You have been 14 for three years in a row once upon a time. Have you finally had a chance to grow up?
SA: Oh I did. It was tough to turn 15. Besides the Pakistani cricket establishment did not want me to turn 15 in a hurry.

BM: So what made you grow up?
SA: Ammi told me that if I don’t grow up soon, I won’t be able to marry or even if I marry, my kids and I will be in the same age group. This was a huge incentive for me. So after I turned 15, I decided that I will be 15 only for two years.

BM: Have you stopped biting cricket balls?
SA: yeah I sure have. Begum and I have stopped squabbling and so I am finally getting to have some good home cooked food more often.  So the temptation to bite into leather has subsided a bit.

BM: Is that the real reason? We have heard that you are a sore loser and a born cheater. You used to even bite tennis balls during you gulley cricket days just because you were losing and wanted the match to be cancelled. 
SA:  Who told you that? I never did anything like that. If you don’t believe me ask my mother in law.

BM: Why her?
SA: Caus she is no longer alive. (starts laughing, falls from the sofa and looses consciousness)

Shahid Afridi at the Lashkar training camp in Murdike 


Angry Ganu said…
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